More than two weeks before my forty years and I have no woman to propose marriage, no woman in the target heart-shaped love.
But I threw so many arrows in the last two years.
I have only one solution. A drastic solution drastically
... The other day Karine the whore told me I was not looking for the right kind of woman for me. That would be ideal to find one of my age.
After a deep analysis and reflection, I concluded she was right.
A mature woman is automatically a sign of stability. A girl of twenty-one years, for cons, it still lives with his parents, it does not know what to do in life is not so nasty that it is far from what I need .
I want a woman to stabilize my life, so a woman can logically stable help me achieve this goal. But ...
( Sigh) ... I've always avoided
older women.
I have no problem to kiss, but I can not imagine my life complete with a grandma to my age.
Because ...
I think it's wrong a single woman of forty years.
There must be something wrong, a major defect, a problem in quality, a serious handicap if another man had already put their hands on it.
That's it, I told you. You know my secret.
A single woman my age is a loser.
And I do not want to end my life with a loser .
(Sobs )
... But I have no choice. This is my last resort. Time is short.
I feel the breath of God in my shot.
So I decided to enroll in a speed dating session for thirty-five to fifty years. History accelerate the number of female encounters.
The rules are simple. I just have to sit behind a table, and every five minutes, another woman appears before me.
We make a brief discussion and if it interests me, I just write their name. Then, everyone gives the name of the person they chose and there is a perfect match, well ...
I'm not sure. I guess they have the right to leave together.
I entered a huge room. Already, I did not like the atmosphere. There must be fifty men for a couple of women.
I have not even needed five minutes to pick someone. At the end of the room, a woman of about forty, looking a little shy, radiant in its beauty.
It was beyond any doubt that if I make a perfect game tonight, it would be with her.
the desk I was assigned number nineteen.
Then the girls began to circle.
I took out notebook and pencil worse I gargle with push-push mint. I was ready.
The first woman to sit in front of me was not pretty, but at least she wore glasses Dolce Gabanna .
- Hi, my name is Patrick.
- Me, Marie-Andree.
I look down on my notes.
- Age? I asked.
- Fifty.
Fuck!
Removed from the outset because of decay. The remaining five minutes would be long enough.
I sighed.
- I tell you beforehand, fifty, it's much too old for me, "I breathed.
She smiled.
- Pick me, I like you. Come on, you will not regret it. I love sex, I am a true woman cougar.
- A woman cougar?? You live in the savannah worse you eat zebras??
- Uh ... Not ... You do not know expression? She asked, surprised.
- I know "femme fatale", "woman of dreams" or "maid", but I never heard "woman cougar.
- A woman cougar is a woman over forty-five young males kissing only fit enough to satiate their sexual appetite.
I smiled.
- Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a young male. I'll be forty in two weeks.
She looked at me vexed.
- Oh fuck, that's okay ... I'm so in need that I even sleep with a man forty years. Come on, pick me.
I made her head no.
- I myself am a man cougar. You do not really interest me.
She crossed her arms.
- You're shit, Patrick!
We stayed silent, then the bell rang. Marie-Andree is a party and another woman took place in front of me.
- Hi, my name is Patrick.
- Hi, Sophie.
- Age?
She looked surprised.
- What?
- You're how old?
She seemed really annoyed.
- I will not respond to a questionnaire, rather begin a conversation!
That one had too much character. She was already beginning to make me mad.
- It was just five minutes too bad I want a woman who filled a number of criteria. I have no time to lose to listen to you talk about rain and fine weather, fuck!
She giggled a sneer, the slut ...
- Fuck you, fucking idiot!
It put me even more cursed.
- Eat the shit, bitch! Me, I want to talk, I want to settle down. If you need to talk, pogne yourself a dog, not a boyfriend! She looked at me
with a look that meant: "I hate you so much I break your face with a crowbar .
- Pffff! I am sure that dogs are less annoying than you!
- Pffff! I am sure that hemorrhoids are less annoying than you!
She left before the bell rings the bell ...
Really, I began to doubt the virtues of speed dating . The woman next
was wrong dosage. That's how I call women a little plump and without balls. You know, the ones that are plump except at the chest. Big where it should small and not where it should not.
A wrong dosage, what!
But it was not serious. At the point where I am, I'm not looking too. In fact, the main thing she has a vagina for the rest of the criteria I am willing to make sacrifices.
- Hi, my name is Patrick.
- Hello, my name is Anne.
I looked at my notes.
- Age? I asked.
- Thirty-seven years.
Not bad, not bad.
- Do you work?
- Yes. I am a dental assistant.
Ok This is not the most paying job in the world, but at least she has an income. What was already better than me.
- Do you like sex?
She blushed like a tomato that has made a sunburn.
- hihihi! Yes ... Like everyone else, hehehe!
This girl had potential.
breast surgery, diet and more beautiful makeup Anne worse could possibly represent me with dignity.
- my turn to ask questions, "she said.
- No problem.
- Your age?
- Thirty-nine years.
- Your Job?
hesitation ... I hesitated
But the other day in the Journal de Montreal , Louise Deschâtelets said that love is being honest. I decided to listen.
- Ben uh ... For now, I do not work, I replied.
She observed scornfully.
- You are unemployed?
- Yeah. I have a Bachelor of unemployment! I've said, laughing.
She sighed with impatience, she did not laugh at all at all ...
- It's a bit ... loser.
What the fucking fuck ?? To which she took that bitch??
- We are two losers , Anne. Remember that two negatives make a mathematical positive. You and I are meant to be together.
She did not look convinced.
- Not ... No, sorry. I want children for forty years, you do not have the financial ability to become a good father, "she insisted.
- WHAT? This is not money that determines whether it is a good father!
- A good father is able to provide a good education and send their children to private school. It must be strong enough financially to buy a house, take his family on a trip, spoiling his wife and pay for activities and sports outside of school for their children. If you can not give it all to your family, you should abstain to marry and procreate.
She looked at me intently and added, "And me ... I want to marry and procreate."
It hit me in the face.
Fuuuck ... I
no money, I can not buy me love!
( Long silence) ...
I cracked. I spilled my table and walked toward the exit under the bewilderment of Anne.
Before leaving, I turned toward the beautiful girl that I had seen arriving in early evening.
- Hey you! I am unemployed, I am thirty-nine years, I failed, I have no furniture, no clothes, no car, will you come with me? 'I shouted.
The poor woman looked terrified. In a quiet room eager to know the decision of the beautiful, she slowly shakes her head.
I left the place his head between his legs ...
( Sigh) ...
In fact, I always knew, it takes money to attract a woman. But I thought it was limited to beautiful women with balls and ass to redo the Jessica Rabbit , not bad assayed as Anne!
This means that either a woman my age, a poor woman, an ugly woman, a woman or a woman thick dwarf, I have no chance! Nobody wants to share his life with a guy who thinks the Kraft Dinner is a luxury!
Osti I am discouraged discouragement ...
( Silence) ...
is found love by being honest??
Louise Deschâtelets Fuck you!
* Photo: http://www.cyberpresse.ca/chroniqueurs/marc-cassivi/201005/13/01-4279956-lequipe-b-de-tva.php
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