How To Make A Table Leaf

The diary of a nymphomaniac

That last Tuesday was the first release on DVD of a film of Jess Franco produced by Robert De Nesle (excluding co-productions as DEMONS released in Germany) and has this great day Mondo Macabro . Finally! the time Franco De Nesle gets his due on the video market. Contrary to what was originally planned, this is not LORNA THE EXORCIST coming out of the vaults in the first, but the diary of a nymphomaniac (under the English title of SINNER: THE SECRET DIARY OF A Nymphomaniac ). The DVD LORNA is nicknamed "cursed out" given the numerous problems encountered with this title in addition to stories of copyrights for headlines De Nesle, which required several years of work to overcome.

For this film, MM have first received a copy pornographic version from Italy. What's more alarming when one considers the rarity of the title. Is it possible to trace a complete copy? We were in limbo for a while, but Pete Tombs completely reassured and, in turn, delighted his audience by announcing a full version of 99 minutes! Wow! It was a great day to learn this term because it is the longest version ever compiled to date! One wonders if the film was even presented with this time somewhere when it was released (probably, but never listed), the longest version of the video market doing in 84 minutes.

15 minutes more of this beautiful album! This continues my theory reel missing when released on video for films exceeding 90 minutes discussed here when I saw a 35mm print of THE MIRROR OBSCENE. With this LORNA , if we make the conversion period of 84 minutes PAL to NTSC with the addition of the scene censored dildo and adding a reel missing, it probably would happen to 99 minutes. Fantastic!

LORNA and SINNER were supposed to appear every two this week, but was repulsed LORNA again, "simply" a problem of encoding and nothing worse. Phew! The concern is repoint, haha! It has more than wait until January for a complete copy of LORNA I can not wait to discover, much to the additional scenes that visual quality and sound of it.

So back on the track which has just appeared and which swells the enthusiasm for the upcoming titles: Diary of a nymphomaniac ! Received this week, watched with great curiosity this weekend. First, the copy is great with some debris here and there, but still amazing with the film grain apparent (something I love) without becoming bulky. I was facing the same amazement felt at the screening of OBSCENE MIRROR 35mm. Obviously, for the VHS versions, the distributor was only worn to take copies string of cinemas, probably what De Nesle foisting since the distributor probably did not want to pay back the negative and the costs of a new copy and De Nesle was not going to make a new copy for the video market. Hypothesis held when we see the state of the film to VHS. Also, at a time, calibration changes (as in THE OBSCENE MIRROR in 35mm and VHS) to be darker, saving money for a cheaper film stock? Finally, in SINNER, it happens late, but THE MIRROR is early in the movie (Emma Cohen under discussion Dining out with Robert Woods ).

Montserrat Prous

After listening, I compared with the French that I had and there is no difference except for the opening scene that is totally there! And what opening scene! I thought how beautiful she was with the successful atmosphere setting the tone for what lies ahead. A scene very important when reviewing the film and who was probably too damaged to the copy used for the VHS with the title appearing before moving arbitrarily in the film. This film did not suffer Reel missing a good thing that can probably be explained because of the length less than 90 minutes (the film being just under 87 minutes )....

Anne Libert

Regarding the film itself, I just loved it. Until that great day I had never seen and find out in this version is fun. The film has a particular climate, and rather surprisingly heavy, accentuated by the music of Jean-Bernard Raiteux (aka Jean-Michel Lorgere ) who is brilliant and mesmerizing. There are some great dialogues and surprises here and there with a small role for Franco himself and Police Chief Howard Vernon in doctor who arrives later in the film, enough so that I forgot he was part of the film. He handles his own dubbing, which is even better. There are many memorable scenes including the opening scene captivating with little means or the scene of the fairground Ferris wheel, a transfer taking sick and disorientated. Wonderful!

Finally, a French major I have greatly appreciated more deeply! Discover the films of the era of Nesle with this level of quality is simply amazing, no longer believed that it would one day.

Howard Vernon

For supplements, we include an interview with Stephen Thrower (17m), speaking of French cinema in general, calling it as I see it beautifully, giving even more want to read his book to be published in 2011. There is also a second segment (10m) with Thrower discussing SINNER and of course the interview with Gerard Kikoïne, enthusiastic and friendly (15m). He shared anecdotes of his career as editor and sound editor image evokes memories of De Nesle and fixtures it was Franco films without ever having met the guy. It does not specify in what capacity he discusses each time, but it remains captivating atmosphere with friendly and good nature of any contagious Kikoïne. It completes the picture with a text by Pete Tombs on the film (interesting), short texts and biographies of the actors on a Raiteux (also interesting) and then ends with the soundtrack promo for Mondo Macabro.

I was wondering why Jess Franco is not interviewed for the film and the only case that comes to mind is that what is on the upcoming DVD of LORNA is material for his book Stephen Thrower (recent interview) and maybe he has not spoken much of this movie with Franco hence the irrelevance of an interview. Perhaps it evokes 2-3 sentences in the interview on the DVD in January or that this interview does evoke the time De Nesle in general. Hmmmm ... We'll know soon enough. Anyway, this SINNER is already full and we did not ask for much! I leave you with some images of this and other DVDs from the VHS for fans who have long seen this movie in this format with high quality ensuing .... [ Do not judge severely the quality of the DVD by these images, my program is to catch not what is best and that's saying something! ]

Skirt Of Miranda Cosgrove

This is a goodbye

Today I am officially in quarantine of forty years ... Worse

fuck priests.

Magically, this week, life gave me a birthday present: A job. A Toyota dealer I tried as a salesman for three days.

I sold five cars and I even had the phone number of a little fat into heat. The boss was stunned fucking.

To my surprise, I realized I had a big mouth and my lack of inhibition was helping my cause. I discovered that I am a great salesman, but what to do crosser is a little people. Worse

I'm good there. I am now a proud representative Toyota my complete even the smell of a pine-scented smells of spruce.

I went to see the house bequeathed to me Aline St-Philippe-De- Gosford. It is picturesque, far from being fashionable, but warm. As is also the home of my daughter Miguita , I decided that I would settle there. It is forty minutes from my job, but it does not matter, I think Miguita will prefer a country house that my little four and a half to Brossard. With some

the $ 25,000 inheritance, I'll buy a mini-van and spend three thousand dollars as a Christmas gift for my angel.

This child will love me as a father.

( Silence) ...

Eighteen months have passed since the beginning of this blog. Eighteen difficult month where I lived all kinds of adventures but most importantly, eighteen months where I took the time to learn thanks to your advice and comments throughout this journey.

Finally, what I was looking for was not love as such, but a goal. A goal in life.

worse now I've found. I'm

a father, I'll take care of my daughter Miguita. I know why I exist, I know my future destiny of fate I was finally filled.

My journey through the desert is over, I do not drift away, I have a lighthouse to guide me.

That's all it took me.

From December 6, the day of the arrival of my love, I'm going to raise a child responsibly.

I will not do anything else.

If a woman appears in my life, it will be by chance that our paths will cross course, I will not force meetings and more importantly, I will not attempt more than simply finding someone to ejaculate in his face or my many debts to pay. This is not my quest.

If I find a woman, I do not care if it has more than thirty years and she is chubby, it will be primarily a woman who love us, my daughter and me.

It is there, essentially.

Yes, ok ... Of course ... If she has a good bank account is even better. Young would be good. Beautiful too. Fashionable would be perfect.

( embarrassed Sigh) ...

It ends here, for you, the story of Patrick Duval. For me, it only really begin.

A new attitude, new challenges and horizons different looming. This is the era of change.

I open a new chapter.

I draw a line under the past.

Except for one thing ...

( Long, long silence ) ...

I will not accept a woman who does not practice sodomy in the ass ...

END

I thank from my heart all the anonymous or not, all the new friends that now enrich my list Facebook friends, all these exchanges of keyboard and all trademarks of conditions which you have warmly covered.

This was my first blog and it was a success thanks to you. I do not know yet if I will open a new one, for now, I take a break, writing contracts are increasing, projects are starting to take shape, I put my energies elsewhere.

That said, I also looking for a publisher for the novel version of Duval Patrick, a manuscript where I put many hours and will end up on the shelves in a bookstore one day, I am convinced. I will keep you informed of developments.

Thanks again for following me in my madness. I know I too sometimes exaggerated stories, the second level of a few tickets were not clear, situations have not been implemented or anomalies have crept into the evolution of the blog, but do not m 'grudge. I used this blog to learn discipline of writing, learning to trust my creativity and to get used to exploit the characters and story in the long term. I made my own school.

Now that I have the bite and a good discipline, I will conquer the world!

I swear one day you hear from me again (too bad you say, "Hey, it's Pat Duval, a talented writer of talent !!!).

Courval
Author Patrick graduated from the Ecole Nationale de l'Humour
founding member of the collective authors of the text
Workers
PS: Come all together for one last time: What the fucking fuck ??

How Long After Implantation Will I Have Symptons

renaissance

Yes ... I had to blank out the word "END" of the last chapter.

Because something happened. Two days ago.

I was summoned to the courthouse.

It made me nervous nervous ...

I had no idea what to expect, I could not see what I had done wrong to be brought to justice. Anyway ...



A lady escorted me to a conference room where there was already four people seated around a large rectangular table Rectangular ...

right side of the table, there was a little old man in a gray suit. In the end, stood a little old man in a black robe. At left is a little old man in a wheelchair and a little old lady with a hat.

But what I had just cum here to this meeting where senility seemed to be common across the world??

The old gray suit stood up.

- Mr. Duval? He asked.

- Yes, that's me.

He appointed a chair beside him.

- Sit down, please.

I sat in front of the old hat.

- This is your spitting image, "she said.

I did not understand what she meant. But anyway, who really understands the little old? The ancestor

gray suit looked at me and spoke: "My name is William Dansereau, notary. We have summoned you today concerning the will of Aline Charbonneau. "

What the fucking fuck ??

- The Testament of Aline Charbonneau? But ... Who is Aline Charbonneau??

Everyone has watched incredulously except the little old lady who was watching me with a nice smile.

- You might get a shock, Mr. Duval, continued the notary.

- A shock??

- You are the heir of a small house St-Philibert-de- Gosford, a small village a half hour from Montreal, and a sum of 25,000 dollars.

Yes, I was in shock.

But who was this generous fairy of generosity??

- I do not understand ... Who is Aline Charbonneau?

The notary looked at the little old lady who always wore a soft smile.

She took my hand gently and appointed the old wheelchair sitting beside her. Her smile was somewhat erased.

- Aline is our daughter. Unfortunately, she died in a road accident last month.

The old stopped his speech to caress my face.

- It Incredibly, the little resembles you so much, she added.

I started to get impatient. Who is Aline Charbonneau brothel??

- I'm sorry ... I do not know your daughter.

- Yes, you know. There are almost one and a half, you had a relationship with her.

A good fifty faces have passed through my mind without putting that Aline. Then ...



Lightning hit my brain. A face appeared. I suddenly saw Aline Charbonneau in my head.

( Sigh) ...

is the big bitch who raped me in the alley to the "Evening destiny" . A bad memory that refuses to fade.

- You mean the big Aline his house and left me $ 25,000??

The undersigned has seemed ill at ease.

- Yes, well ... On one condition, "he said.

I knew was too good to be true.

The condition should be impossible.

I started to laugh.

- Hahaha! Ok ... What is the condition? I walk on Mars? I find bin Laden? I shaved the mane of a lion enraged wearing a dress steak??

Nobody laughed.

The old me again caressed her hand.

- You just need to take care of your little girl.

(Very long pause macabre. Yes, macabre ) ...

- My ... My daughter?

- It has your face, it's amazing, "said the old woman.

- My ... My daughter?

- Aline told us all about. You met at a party of bachelors, then you've slept together and then you left, "she continued.

- My ... My daughter?

- You could not know that Aline was pregnant when you dropped it. I do not blame you, love can not be commanded. My daughter was dying to have a child, she tried for fifteen years to get pregnant and you're the only one to be reached. Pregnancy at forty-four years is not clear, but the happiness of finally seeing his dream come true it has to pass through without complication. You are partly responsible for this happiness.

- My ... My daughter?

- Yes, your daughter. She is beautiful, she is now almost six months.

I have a little girl?? I HAVE

A LITTLE GIRL ????????

The notary continued: "As you are registered on the birth certificate early as the father, custody of the child you are entitled to. "

I was downcast.

It was too late to have a baby. In one week, I go with the monks.

- I'm sorry ... I ... I do not want children, I have other projects.

The face of the little old lady got really sad.

- Please, Mr. Duval, agree. My husband is in a wheelchair, I have trouble looking after him, I have no strength to raise a child. I do not want to see grow up in a small center, I implore you, take care of your child. I will help you my best!

I thought.

A house in a village, 25,000 dollars and a little girl. These are elements that can change a life, make me forget the women and get away a little more of the clergy.

- Where is the little girl, I asked.

- In an early childhood center. The DPJ it occupies, said the lawyer.

- I want to see.

Again, everyone has looked incredulous.
The old man
toga then spoke: "I am the Judge Dubreuil, Mr. Duval is me that will allow if you can have custody of your daughter or not. Why do you see? What does this change your decision? "

Slowly, I looked at everyone. I thought about lying, but I decided to tell the truth. To be honest

honesty ...

- This is my daughter ... I just want to see it as fast as possible.

The judge smiled. My answer was typed into the thousands. He turned to the lawyer.

- Mr. Dansereau, Mr. Duval will drive you to the center so he could finally see her daughter. You have an hour, said the judge.

- Thank you, your honor, honorary, "I started. J.

set me gravely: "When you return, Mr. Duval, I want to know your decision. "What

shit.

I felt like having a gun to his head.

notary and I headed toward the youth center in Mercedes this year.

Even paying the notary business, I regretted a moment of not having done studies in notoriety ...

We arrived in the lobby of the center. William Dansereau spoke a few seconds with an attendant and returned to me.

- They go after the baby, "he said.

After a few minutes the door opened and a lady arrived with my offspring in their arms.

I gasped.



... The little girl had a big smile, big brown eyes, brown hair small, it is true that she looked like me. A face brighter than a halo. Its tiny round cheeks gave urge to chew, to caress, to kiss them. It seemed so vulnerable, I wanted to protect, maintain his innocence, as his model, this girl was too cute, I was in love.

But not as in love with a woman, band draws. No, in love like a father. This love, the most powerful ever lived, broke something in me The fear to take my responsibilities. It's the magic of babies.

I took her in my arms, she grabbed his nose, I laughed.

She laughed too.

We had a connection.

Clearly, without a doubt, this girl was ...

The woman of my life.

( Silence) ...

After a few minutes and cons to heart, I gave my baby to the clerk.

I was still trembling. I had to live the most beautiful emotion of my whole life.

- So? Called the lawyer.

- I think I found the woman of my life. The notary

laughed. Me, I sniffed my hands still imbued with the smell of my child.

- You have to catch the virus commonly known as "daddy." I have two kids myself, the feeling is extraordinary.

He could not choose a better word.

- About ... What's his name to? This is stupid, with all that, I forgot to ask his name, did I questioned.

He laughed, somewhat embarrassed.

- You know, Aline loved the exotic stuff. If you do not like the name of the girl, you can take steps to change it.

- What's his name? Do I have asked impatiently.

He sighed.

- Miguita. Miguita Charbonneau.

* Photo: http://www.i974.fr/reunion.php/Actualites

Free Beautiful Agony Archive

The end

is the end of the final, my friends ...

More than ten days before my birthday.

Tomorrow, I'll bring my resume in my parish priest.

Yesterday my mother tried to dissuade me from joining the priests, Vincent called me gay and my sister Stephanie paraded all night with her new fur coat.

No big deal ticket. I also crossed

Joanie and Jason the video store, busy kissing in the alley romantic comedies. Fortunately, they did not see me.

They probably would have made me shit sent because of the history of cat Joanie.

say that my place is supposed to be that of Jason.

Joanie is really dumb.

( Sigh) ...

So here it is. It's the end.

In November 16, 2010, I hang my condoms. Finished hunting for women. Fate has decided that I, Patrick Duval is not entitled to love. I

many years to do as a monk before becoming priest. The road will not be easy, but at least I will not think more girls. My

celibacy is now normal for all to see.

I wish to give you a happy ending. As Hollywood.

I tried.

But I can not afford to have a family.

( Silence) ...

I feel like laughing now.

The destiny of my destiny can not change, there is only ten ten days, I will end my life without having the woman of my life ...

Thanks for reading.

END

* Photo: http://jeeby2.unblog.fr/2009/07/21/the-end/

Cover Letters For Hr Generalists

Sense of Urgency At the bottom of the barrel

More than two weeks before my forty years and I have no woman to propose marriage, no woman in the target heart-shaped love.

But I threw so many arrows in the last two years.

I have only one solution.

A drastic solution drastically

... The other day Karine the whore told me I was not looking for the right kind of woman for me. That would be ideal to find one of my age.

After a deep analysis and reflection, I concluded she was right.

A mature woman is automatically a sign of stability. A girl of twenty-one years, for cons, it still lives with his parents, it does not know what to do in life is not so nasty that it is far from what I need .

I want a woman to stabilize my life, so a woman can logically stable help me achieve this goal. But ...



( Sigh) ... I've always avoided

older women.

I have no problem to kiss, but I can not imagine my life complete with a grandma to my age.

Because ...

I think it's wrong a single woman of forty years.

There must be something wrong, a major defect, a problem in quality, a serious handicap if another man had already put their hands on it.

That's it, I told you. You know my secret.

A single woman my age is a loser.

And I do not want to end my life with a loser .

(Sobs )

... But I have no choice. This is my last resort. Time is short.

I feel the breath of God in my shot.

So I decided to enroll in a speed dating session for thirty-five to fifty years. History accelerate the number of female encounters.

The rules are simple. I just have to sit behind a table, and every five minutes, another woman appears before me.

We make a brief discussion and if it interests me, I just write their name. Then, everyone gives the name of the person they chose and there is a perfect match, well ...

I'm not sure. I guess they have the right to leave together.

I entered a huge room. Already, I did not like the atmosphere. There must be fifty men for a couple of women.

I have not even needed five minutes to pick someone. At the end of the room, a woman of about forty, looking a little shy, radiant in its beauty.

It was beyond any doubt that if I make a perfect game tonight, it would be with her.

the desk I was assigned number nineteen.

Then the girls began to circle.

I took out notebook and pencil worse I gargle with push-push mint. I was ready.

The first woman to sit in front of me was not pretty, but at least she wore glasses Dolce Gabanna .

- Hi, my name is Patrick.

- Me, Marie-Andree.

I look down on my notes.

- Age? I asked.

- Fifty.

Fuck!

Removed from the outset because of decay. The remaining five minutes would be long enough.

I sighed.

- I tell you beforehand, fifty, it's much too old for me, "I breathed.

She smiled.

- Pick me, I like you. Come on, you will not regret it. I love sex, I am a true woman cougar.

- A woman cougar?? You live in the savannah worse you eat zebras??

- Uh ... Not ... You do not know expression? She asked, surprised.

- I know "femme fatale", "woman of dreams" or "maid", but I never heard "woman cougar.

- A woman cougar is a woman over forty-five young males kissing only fit enough to satiate their sexual appetite.

I smiled.

- Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a young male. I'll be forty in two weeks.

She looked at me vexed.

- Oh fuck, that's okay ... I'm so in need that I even sleep with a man forty years. Come on, pick me.

I made her head no.

- I myself am a man cougar. You do not really interest me.

She crossed her arms.

- You're shit, Patrick!

We stayed silent, then the bell rang. Marie-Andree is a party and another woman took place in front of me.

- Hi, my name is Patrick.

- Hi, Sophie.

- Age?

She looked surprised.

- What?

- You're how old?

She seemed really annoyed.

- I will not respond to a questionnaire, rather begin a conversation!

That one had too much character. She was already beginning to make me mad.

- It was just five minutes too bad I want a woman who filled a number of criteria. I have no time to lose to listen to you talk about rain and fine weather, fuck!

She giggled a sneer, the slut ...

- Fuck you, fucking idiot!

It put me even more cursed.

- Eat the shit, bitch! Me, I want to talk, I want to settle down. If you need to talk, pogne yourself a dog, not a boyfriend! She looked at me

with a look that meant: "I hate you so much I break your face with a crowbar .

- Pffff! I am sure that dogs are less annoying than you!

- Pffff! I am sure that hemorrhoids are less annoying than you!

She left before the bell rings the bell ...

Really, I began to doubt the virtues of speed dating . The woman next

was wrong dosage. That's how I call women a little plump and without balls. You know, the ones that are plump except at the chest. Big where it should small and not where it should not.

A wrong dosage, what!

But it was not serious. At the point where I am, I'm not looking too. In fact, the main thing she has a vagina for the rest of the criteria I am willing to make sacrifices.

- Hi, my name is Patrick.

- Hello, my name is Anne.

I looked at my notes.

- Age? I asked.

- Thirty-seven years.

Not bad, not bad.

- Do you work?

- Yes. I am a dental assistant.

Ok This is not the most paying job in the world, but at least she has an income. What was already better than me.

- Do you like sex?

She blushed like a tomato that has made a sunburn.

- hihihi! Yes ... Like everyone else, hehehe!

This girl had potential.

breast surgery, diet and more beautiful makeup Anne worse could possibly represent me with dignity.

- my turn to ask questions, "she said.

- No problem.

- Your age?

- Thirty-nine years.

- Your Job?

hesitation ... I hesitated

But the other day in the Journal de Montreal , Louise Deschâtelets said that love is being honest. I decided to listen.

- Ben uh ... For now, I do not work, I replied.

She observed scornfully.

- You are unemployed?

- Yeah. I have a Bachelor of unemployment! I've said, laughing.

She sighed with impatience, she did not laugh at all at all ...

- It's a bit ... loser.

What the fucking fuck ?? To which she took that bitch??

- We are two losers , Anne. Remember that two negatives make a mathematical positive. You and I are meant to be together.

She did not look convinced.

- Not ... No, sorry. I want children for forty years, you do not have the financial ability to become a good father, "she insisted.

- WHAT? This is not money that determines whether it is a good father!

- A good father is able to provide a good education and send their children to private school. It must be strong enough financially to buy a house, take his family on a trip, spoiling his wife and pay for activities and sports outside of school for their children. If you can not give it all to your family, you should abstain to marry and procreate.

She looked at me intently and added, "And me ... I want to marry and procreate."

It hit me in the face.

Fuuuck ... I

no money, I can not buy me love!

( Long silence) ...

I cracked. I spilled my table and walked toward the exit under the bewilderment of Anne.

Before leaving, I turned toward the beautiful girl that I had seen arriving in early evening.

- Hey you! I am unemployed, I am thirty-nine years, I failed, I have no furniture, no clothes, no car, will you come with me? 'I shouted.

The poor woman looked terrified. In a quiet room eager to know the decision of the beautiful, she slowly shakes her head.

I left the place his head between his legs ...

( Sigh) ...

In fact, I always knew, it takes money to attract a woman. But I thought it was limited to beautiful women with balls and ass to redo the Jessica Rabbit , not bad assayed as Anne!

This means that either a woman my age, a poor woman, an ugly woman, a woman or a woman thick dwarf, I have no chance! Nobody wants to share his life with a guy who thinks the Kraft Dinner is a luxury!

Osti I am discouraged discouragement ...

( Silence) ...

is found love by being honest??

Louise Deschâtelets Fuck you!

* Photo: http://www.cyberpresse.ca/chroniqueurs/marc-cassivi/201005/13/01-4279956-lequipe-b-de-tva.php

What The Different Color Dots On Beer Cans Mean?

Shale Gas

Hello,

I see that I was not alone in being busy & # 233;. By cons I hope not be the only one to have been instructed that "shale gas" had fl & # 233; chosen as the subject bi-terly. Here is a word from our government spokesperson.

Catholic Letter For Confirmation

C is therefore that, the fate of my destiny? End my days alone, without wife or child?

Joanie destroyed me. I, who thought she loved me for real. Not pentoute. Give me a break and fly with me just to have kidnapped her cat, this is proof that our marriage did not help much.

No.

Nowadays, we can be trusted.

is every man for himself. Fucking individualistic system.

I am angry against everyone, against life, against fate, against everything.

( Sigh ) ...

I bought two bottles of wine I've drunk in two hours.

In the madness of my intoxication, I destroyed my apartment.

I pulled up the marble countertops in the kitchen, I demolished the ceramics from China in the bathroom, I pierced the walls and kicked, j 'I burned my clothes in the backyard and I even ripped all of my business cards plastic surgeon.

No job, no wife, no social status, I am nothing, except a burden to society.

In one day, I became a great king of the losers.

It made me laugh.

(Long silence ) ...

I became insane. I decided to call Karine whore.

I wanted to go as low as possible. For at least be champion of something.

The champion losers.

Karine came three minutes after my call.

- You know, it's not nice to wait for your faithful customer, I said, the tone intoxicated.

She walked into the room to see the damage.

- Are you crazy??

I started dancing and bouncing around.

- I celebrate my new discovery! That women are bitches! All of the whores who are out of the asylum! Come on, come celebrate with me!

I tried to take her in my arms but she pushed me.

- I do not stay here. It's a mess, you stink and you're not in your state.

I stood outside the door to prevent him from leaving me.

- You do not have the choice to stay here, I pay you, you're a whore!

- I'll go if I want to. You're not loser in point of beating a woman?

I fell on his knees, weeping tears of all my body, two body even.

- I'm not a loser ! Why I can not find a girlfriend? Why no woman wants from me? Tell me you're a girl, why?

She climbed over to reach the door.

- It's so simple, stupid. You're not a real man. You refuse to evolve. You have forty years and you speak, think and act like a teenager. Girls you are looking for are not the ones you need.

I looked at him, full of pity.

- Tell me, Karine ... Who are the women I need??

She sighed at length.

- A woman of your age, triple idiot!

- Impossible, youth is the first criterion on my list! Am I reacted strongly.

- What you do not understand the con is that even if you find a woman between twenty and thirty years for the rest of your days, it will eventually grow old. Your list of criteria, it's superficial, it's the wind, it's shit. I repeat, you do not seek the right kind of women!

She slammed the door.

( Silence again ) ...

I never thought of that. Indeed, the first test of my list can be ephemeral.

My future wife will inevitably one day fifty years.

A fact of nature not to fight.

But am I ready for a woman my age?

Is it my destiny?

Impossible. I can not believe it. My fate can not be so tragic. I always refused the women of my age.

Because ...

( Sigh) ...

No.

I refuse to talk about it for now.

* Photo: http://www.chblog.com/post/2009/10/28/Dicton-de-Walincourt

How To Do A Fresh Tattoo

So close ... * Sigh *

I'll be honest with you franchise , I did not write back here ...

Because I was in love. You know what that is, when you're in love, the daily takes a single stroke, all our life is centered on the other, as the saying goes: "Everything new and beautiful, pus brain.

Ok, ok ... "Pus brain" is me added that because I had really felt to have no brain.

Joanie and I at the beginning of October, have been invited to the wedding of John and Kathleen , former employees Panini. The marriage took place in a church in Trois-Rivieres.

I thought it was cool, I thought it was worse in the countryside a bit of fresh air it is always good when you live in Brossard, close to the Champlain Bridge. I thought that Three Rivers was a main street with three or four trade populated consanguineous. The charm typical of any village.

But not pentoute. Three Rivers is like everywhere. I feel like squealing in Laval.

Sti ugly place to get married in a wedding ...

At least the reception was held for half an hour from the church, in a sugar shack offering his services during the off-season events for different sugars.

It was one of the best days of my life, I think I even found the most wonderful day that John and Kathleen themselves. they did play of Culture Club, the girls were dressed as princesses worse I stuck with Joanie.

During the reception, she had drunk a lot, I am told that the timing was ideal for the cruiser. A drunk girl is always less likely to say no.

Do not think I wanted to take advantage of his condition, I do believe she drank to give himself courage. After all, last relationship had ended badly Joanie, maybe she needed the alcohol to have enough guts to reconnect with love.

Anyway ...

During the wedding reception, there were carriages and for twenty bucks, a check we did a walk of 15 minutes. I gave 200 bucks worse Joanie and I went for a ride of two and a half hours.

time en masse to convince her to become my girlfriend.

- In any case, my marriage, it makes me want to get married. Not you? I asked to Joanie.

She looked at the horizon, a smile.

- It's so romantic that I am almost jealous, "she added.

- You're not to be jealous, Jo ... Beautiful things like marriage, it just does not others. One day you're going to get your day.

You understand what I was doing?

Yes, that's it. I put in a good mood . To be receptive.

- I do not know ... I wonder if at some point a man love me enough to offer me marriage.

- I love you, Joanie!

She looked at me laughing.

- You, you like all girls, Pat.

WHAT?

It made me a little pissed off, I think I'm pretty selective with the girls of the opposite sex ...

- Let Joanie, I selected the girls according a list of criteria, I like them all.

She shrugged.

- I do not feel special with you. You've tried all the girls on the job, you're such a whore that does not pay.

What the fucking fuck ??

Should I reverse the situation, I could not let the perception that it was my reputation to a level of mediocrity so poor ...

As usual, I used my superior male intelligence.

- You understand nothing, Jo ... If I attended almost all the girls Panini was to make you jealous.

She sighed.

- You have it wrong, I have never been jealous, I thought you were just macho and con.

I took a crestfallen (I know, I know, my vocabulary is sometimes impressive).

- First, I made a mistake ... It proves that I'm vulnerable.

Worse if there's one thing I know is that many women love vulnerable men. Especially those who recognize him loud and clear.

But ... It has not seemed to work with Joanie.

- The only place where you are vulnerable, it is in the pants.

( Sigh) ...

- I do not know how to make you understand, Jo. I really want you, I want to do a little way with you, the worse it would be nice if we started before November 26, because after ...

I did not know what to say, Joanie was going to slip through your fingers, then, fate came to my rescue.

She looked at me.

- You know what, Pat? Today I was moved by marriage, I drank a lot, I find the ultra romantic carriage ride and it's been that I did not love. Come sleep with me tonight.

She said it like that.

power carriages impressed me squeal.

We made love all night.

The next day she put me at the door claiming she was going to lunch with her mother at work, nothing.

As if our one-night never happened. Like that for seven days a week ...

Fuck it ...

I still had the 15.000 50.000 bucks on that I had won with Fanny, I bought two tickets first class to Acapulco in a five star hotel for two weeks.

I told him I had won two trips to Mexico and I asked her if she wanted to come with me. She was ecstatic.

( Smile of happiness) ...

is in sunny Acapulco where it all began. The two weeks spent together in the same room where there was only one bed, we welded.

Even me, I suddenly changed. I let the first order the restaurant, I agreed to lend him the TV remote, I have not smoked a joint for a month! I even brought my laptop to write on the blog and I have not even thought of you, dear readers. Even coming back, I was still on a cloud of fleece ...

I had finally a blonde, she was happy, she even admitted she did not think I was interesting and not always thick.

I took it as a compliment.

After Mexico, this time, she did more ignored.

was official, Joanie and I were a couple regulation, that is to say that the posted, to the surprise of the other girls Panini all who wondered if I Joanie had drugged.

Yes, do not weep with sorrow dear readers, my celibacy was over. I experienced a tremendous love, the highest peak of happiness, the Everest of passion.

Until the day before yesterday.

( Long sigh) ...

I fucking made a blunder.

Joanie slept with me, it was not the first time, but she had never used my computer with me, not my laptop, my other computer, a tower in which I back up the of porn movies that I download .

Do not worry, she has not seen my films. They are well concealed in a hidden folder in the bottom end of the drive.

But I left a folder on the desktop of the computer. A folder named ... Moustache.

Of course, piqued by curiosity see a folder with the name of his cat, she opened it and found ...

photos by Moustache taken hostage. A blindfolded, legs tied. The photos that caused the rift between Jason and her boyfriend falsely blamed for the disappearance of her cat.

She screamed. I came running into my office, I saw on the screen Moustache and my whole body became soft, I had trouble standing, I'm leaning against the door frame.

She stood up and did the last thing I would have thought possible.

She gave me a dirty fly.

Two live in the face, I fell head first onto the floor, my eyebrow was split, she beat feet and broke my nose.

is the ambulance picked me up.

The next day I had a dirty mouth. Nine stitches above his left eye dark circles worse I have a bright blue because of my broken nose and now bandaged with a huge plaster .

I was in for Panini show my state Ninon and request a few days off when I got there, I greeted everyone, but nobody answered me.

All fucking world ignored me!

Jason and I finally saw him I was not ignored. It took me by the collar, all employees present, too curious, came around.

- If you knew how I wanted to finish the job started by Joanie!

I was really dog eat another volley, I would not think I would have survived.

- Listen to me, my big dog fucking dirty. You're gonna go see Ninon worse you'll give your resignation, "he shouted.

Had I not been so bad in the face, I laughed.

- Fuck you, Jason. I did the basement, I'm sorry, but I can not afford to lose my job.

Ninon came running, saw the skirmish in the kitchen.

- Come, tabarnak, Quossai happens sti??

Jason looked me straight in the eye saying for Ninon: "If not his coronation Duval out of here, I give my resignation."

Ninon understood nothing.

- What, tabarnak??

Crystal has advanced a step to differentiate themselves from prying eyes.

- If Duval is, I also give my resignation, "she said, looking at me coldly.

There was a brief silence, then each employee came forward one by one.

- Me too, "said Caroline .

- I'm with you, "said Andréane .

- I'm leaving too, replied Amanda .

- I want to work with him either, "said Leduc .

- I do not understand what is happening, but I stay with the gang, countered Milena .

Each turn, looking at me, spat them discontent with what I did to Joanie. Really, just because of the kidnapping of a cat, my colleagues hated me to the bone. Crunches, I did anyway not kidnapped her baby, which band of wineries!

I did not know what to say.

For a moment, I wanted to attract the pity, I thought shouting: "Look at my face, look, I'm disfigured! Joanie has her revenge!"

Ninon looked at me.

- Duval ... sti ...

- Sacre it out! Yelled Jason.

The crowd was given to yell louder than ever to insult insults ...

I do not know why, but I literally pee, I could barely restrain myself. Prior to wet my pants and be in addition to the unloved, the ridicule, I went running in the race ...

The bastards, I heard them clap my departure.

( Silence) ...

Ninon do not call me back. My 4% has been directly deposited in my account. It has not even claimed the uniform.

Fuck off, I was so close to our goal: To have a fucking woman!

Worse now I still 7.000 bucks in my account.

I have no credit because of my bankruptcy.

I am twenty-four days to find me a wife.

I will be forty years.

Seriously ...

I should make a TV series with my life.

* Photo: http://www.luxuriousmexico.com/wwwluxuriousmexico/Luxurious 20Mexico/French/Deluxe%%%% 20Mexico 20fascinating 20FR.html