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Moustache

I know, I am silent silence on my blog ...

is because this week I had an idea Machiavellian. To eliminate

Jason, the boyfriend of Joanie.

Worse I do not take this lightly. Oh no. This is my romantic future depends on it, so must I use the mass media, not smaller.

I have a plan.

A plan of genius like I used to have. You know me.

In a couple, which is the most difficult to acquire is the complete trust of each other. Once that trust is shaken or completely destroyed, usually the couple is crumbling and often ends up breaking.

is precisely at this place that I had to attack ...

Then it only remains for me tame Joanie in order to marry her.

last Friday

In the afternoon, in the staff room, I delved into the bag and found his keys Joanie. I went out the back door of the restaurant where Xavier was expecting on his bicycle, air messed up because of me .

I handed the keys to my brother with five hundred dollars.

- Go to a duplicate set of keys, buy me a digital camera and keep the money. See you here in an hour, I told him.

He left and an hour later, I had a bunch of double Joanie and a digital camera low-end. I gave the original keys in her bag and I continued my work as if nothing had happened.

SATURDAY:

I took my car and I drove towards home Joanie. I parked outside her home at 8am.

That morning, she made a number of day Panini , it had to be at work at 9:30.

At 8:50 am she came out and took his car and disappeared into traffic.

I climbed up her apartment and I walked quietly with my key. The place was empty, I was afraid that Jason is there, but obviously he had slept with him the day before.

I did what I had to do ... I kidnapped the cat Joanie.

Moustache.

But this asshole cat would not get caught, he jumped from furniture furniture myself spitting anger. When I put my hands on it, it got scratched and bitten.

I had to take my jacket.

Fucking cat.

An alley cat gray-faced hypocrite. The kind cat so spoiled by his mistress that he thinks that all humans are soft and stupid.

Already, the cat fell on my nerves. Especially the way he stared at me when he saw my old rusty car.

It seemed to say: "My old man, with a car like that, you do not Pogner many women!"

When I got home, I pulled out the digital camera and I tied the legs Chat with rope.

Then I tried to put a blindfold on the cat but the bastard was struggling, he moved his head vigorously from left to right.

After fifteen minutes of effort, the cat has finally been blindfolded.

I took some pictures with the camera and I loosened my victim in my apartment, taking care to give him a few pieces of roast chicken to make him forget the unpleasant past five minutes it had passed.

He literally swallowed the chicken. I guess this context that had eaten some food, stick his whole life.

He licked his lips, gazing at me as a hero, begging to have yet to discover with amazement that the world had more to offer than Meow Mix .

And I was the access to this new happiness.

At that time, the cat was not hurt unless its costs.

I printed the photos and the effect I was satisfied. With its legs tied and blindfolded, the cat seemed to be the hostage of a dangerous killer.

SUNDAY:

In an Internet café boulevard Taschereau, I created a bogus email account and I sent a photo of Joanie cat with a short text: "I want your cat hostage if you want to see him again, I want $ 1000.

MONDAY:

When I arrived at work, it was the crowd in the staff room. There was Milena, Crystal, Andréane, Joanie and Jason.

- ... I can not believe it! Pushed Crystal.

- There are people who have no heart! Milena insisted.

- What's going on? I asked.

They all returned to me, Joanie had tears in his eyes.

- There's a maniac who hurt Moustache! She said, sobbing.

on the employee table, there was the photo taken the day before the cat she had carefully printed.

- I'll find the dog fucking dirty, this guy is going to pay! Yelled Jason.

To shake a little confidence couple Joanie / Jason, I added for Jason: "How do you know that the kidnapper is a man??"

all eyes were turned towards him.

- Uh ... Well ... I guess, "he stammered.

I read in the eyes of Joanie, doubt.

Bingo!

the evening when I returned home, Joanie's cat looked angry. I arrived later than usual and I forgot to give him pieces of chicken.

I gave him a sermon on gratitude, that instead of being angry for not having his ration of food for a few hours, to be grateful for a home that does is not a cage and food that is not dry or stick.

After all, I owed him nothing.

Moustache suddenly became more submissive. He began to understand that here it was not like at Joanie. He was not the boss.

Tuesday :

Max Gaucho, the former hard-bitten my high school.

Of course, now he has ordered, he worked in construction for fifteen years, it is no longer the young offender once he is even a senior member of his union.

But its anatomy killer was still impressive. He had the body of a gorilla and the head of an orc in The Lord of the Rings , but uglier.

I had found on Facebook for about six months. In the morning, he accepted me encounter after a request from me.

In a snack, he quickly told me he was on strike right now, but that his union would not allow herself to the government's interest to resolve the problem in the building before seeing several skeletons out of closets. I told him that, like everyone else, I could not care for his stories and construction policy in the con, I had far greater problems.

- Why you wanted to see me? Me he asked.

- I need you for a small mission. I'm ready you to pay 2000 bucks.

He listened and suddenly shut its mouth.

I explained my plan.

Later, I parked in the back of the parking Panini well hidden. It was nearly 22h. Joanie went out one minute to another.

Probably with Jason, she would not walk alone in the parking lot since she was attacked.

In fact, she had so with Jason, but my plan did not work.

I watched Max Gaucho sitting on my right.

- or convincing, I said.

He smiled. Fuck, it was even more ugly when he smiled.

- worry not, for 2000 bucks I'll be very persuasive.

As I thought, Joanie was released along with Jason. Max is suddenly descended on my car and walked with heavy steps towards the future ex-couple ...

- Jason Morin? Requested Max aggressive.

Jason and Joanie were returned to approaching the unknown.

- Uh ... Yes? Replied Jason.

The brute took Jason by the throat.

- Tony sent me to have the 1000 bucks you owe him! It is starting to get impatient!

Jason did not understand.

- I ... I ... J'connais not Tony!

Max threw Jason pit.

- You got three days to pay or I'll break your legs!

He then looked at Joanie.

- You'd better choose your lovers, your boyfriend is nothing worse than a fucking liar crossers!

Joanie's face was to be convulsed with laughter.

The giant left the couple who took to their heels inside the Panini.

Once in my car, I sped away. Max Gaucho had accomplished its mission with a perfect perfection ...

Trust had just taken a nasty blow. The couple was collapsing like a tower. I was a terrorist Cupid falling in love in their Boeing.

Moustache and I slept well that night.

chicken still on the edge of the mouth.

WEDNESDAY:

the same Internet cafe, I send another email with another photo of her cat demanding a ransom of $ 1000 as soon as possible.

Then I created another fake email and I sent a second anonymous message to Joanie. This one said: "I know who has kidnapped your cat is Jason. He needs money to pay Tony."

Returning home, Moustache waiting at the foot of the door. Yet he had his food.

I think it begins to focus on me.

Or chicken.

THURSDAY:

At 10 states, Xavier and I were in the phone booth Esso across the street from Jason. I handed him a written paper, he took the phone and dialed the number Joanie.

- If you want your cat, it is with Jason, come quick before he kills him!

It hung up, I was satisfied with satisfaction ...

Then I gave a hundred bucks to Xavier for the service.

I was in my car, took a cardboard box and I headed home Jason.

Moustache I pulled the box, we looked for a moment. I know exactly what he thought: He did not see me go. Jason, no chicken.

I told him that we would see, that I would become his adoptive father and that I would soon cover the chicken.

Moustache smiled.

much as before I thought it was a hypocritical face, now I think he has a friendly face.

It's crazy how we see things changes when you take the time to discover them and know them.

I laid on the balcony of Jason and I knocked on the door, saving me the race to go hide in my car.

Five minutes later, Joanie arrived.

Fifteen minutes later, she left with her cat in her arms, makeup running in tears.

THIS MORNING:

When I arrived at work, the first thing I knew was that Joanie had broken up with Jason. The con had kidnapped her cat to pay its debts to the Mafia.

Apparently he had vigorously defended by saying that someone had knocked on the door and he found the cat in the opening, but Joanie did not believe him and had slapped before breaking.

( smiling with joy) ...

Mission accomplished.

( Silence) ...

At the end of this afternoon, after our work day, I asked Joanie to take a drink, just to build confidence between us.

She said she wanted to take a break men, right now, all she wanted to castrate them.

Joanie

This is a real tigress.

And no offense to the singer Marjo ...

I tame this wild cat.

Because after all, a woman ... it is not so different from Moustache.

* Photo: http://crions.hautetfort.com/tag/Marjo