Pokemon Heart Gold Sprite Sheet Pokemon

Fate does not want to hear

Sabrina's uncle , girlfriend my brother Xavier , has a small Cessna airplane.

He came to my idea a brilliant idea ...

Joanie will nose. She wants to marry me.

I'm going to fly a plane behind a large banner written "I love you Joan!"

In time, I'll tell Joanie to follow me outside Panini and when the plane passes, I confess my love.

I know, I'm a big romantic.

I went from the old uncle, his name was Albert. Xavier had warned me to speak very loudly because it was almost deaf.

When I parked in front of his farm, he came to greet me.

In my mind, I came up a name: "Professor Tournesol.

You know, this character in Tintin. Albert looked like him as two drops of water.

- Hello stranger, what brings you here? He asked in a tone very cordial.

- I am a friend of Sabrina.

- A Amish Sahara?

- No, a friend of Sabrina ...

- Yes, yes, you are in Canada.

Ok, this guy was really deaf.

- This is for information ...

He observed a strange look.

- You want some pickles??

- No, I want information! I shouted.

- Sorry, here we do not practice castration ...

- INFORMATION!

- Aaaaaah! Information. Had to say earlier.

as I wanted to kill him.

- What can I do for you? He continued.

- Can you hang a banner on your plane?

- If I can snatch a Mongol on my truck??

( Sigh) ...

- NOT! Ac-cro-expensive one-of-ro ban it on vo-vi-a-be there!

He smiled.

- Aaaaaah! A banner for the pub! He finally said.

- Yes, in some ways! That's a girl.

- Hahaha! No thank you, at my age I do not play marbles.

He really unnerved me.

- No BALL GIRLS! Am I replied, annoyed.

He continued to laugh.

- How much does it cost to get to the city? I added.

He stopped laughing and looked at me strangely again a second time ...

- Really ... I do not play ball, "he repeated.

I exploded in a raging fury ...

- NOT OLD BALL SACRAMENT! VIL-THE! CITY! CITY CHALICE!

He took angrily.

- Listen sir, it's not worth crying, I'm not deaf!

What the fucking fuck ??

The Albert?? It was stupid or what??

- Okay .. Ok .. Excuse me. We start again from scratch.

He finally smiling again.

- I want to write about the band, "I continued.

- Sorry ... There is no calves on the pan.

- A NOTE ON THE BANNER!

- Yes, yes, okay. But back to your banner, what would you write it?

I thought to strangle him but I restrained myself.

This is not in jail that I would find the woman of my life.

- I love you Joanie.

He looked surprised.

- But you are romantic, naughty! Me he said, pinching my cheek.

I left before he put my fist in the face after the agreed time and place and have paid 1200 bucks.

( this morning) ...

Joanie seemed sad. She took really hard breaking up with Jason.

The timing was perfect.

My prey was emotionally fragile. I had to take advantage.

I approached her and I offered to go take a break outside.

The morning was warm, the sun shone, it was 10:15.

Then a plane approached. I turned to Joanie.

- Look at the plane, it looks like he has a message!

She looked up to heaven, I knelt before her.

- How romantic! She shouted.

I watched the plane and just when I'm here to declare my love Joanie, I read the banner ...

"I love you Johnny!"

Joanie's eyes become heart-shaped.

- Johnny This is the luckiest man in the world! I'd kill to have such attention, "she said dreamily.

( Silence) ...

tabarnak!

* Photo: http://nestormatingeocaching.blogspot.com/

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Moustache

I know, I am silent silence on my blog ...

is because this week I had an idea Machiavellian. To eliminate

Jason, the boyfriend of Joanie.

Worse I do not take this lightly. Oh no. This is my romantic future depends on it, so must I use the mass media, not smaller.

I have a plan.

A plan of genius like I used to have. You know me.

In a couple, which is the most difficult to acquire is the complete trust of each other. Once that trust is shaken or completely destroyed, usually the couple is crumbling and often ends up breaking.

is precisely at this place that I had to attack ...

Then it only remains for me tame Joanie in order to marry her.

last Friday

In the afternoon, in the staff room, I delved into the bag and found his keys Joanie. I went out the back door of the restaurant where Xavier was expecting on his bicycle, air messed up because of me .

I handed the keys to my brother with five hundred dollars.

- Go to a duplicate set of keys, buy me a digital camera and keep the money. See you here in an hour, I told him.

He left and an hour later, I had a bunch of double Joanie and a digital camera low-end. I gave the original keys in her bag and I continued my work as if nothing had happened.

SATURDAY:

I took my car and I drove towards home Joanie. I parked outside her home at 8am.

That morning, she made a number of day Panini , it had to be at work at 9:30.

At 8:50 am she came out and took his car and disappeared into traffic.

I climbed up her apartment and I walked quietly with my key. The place was empty, I was afraid that Jason is there, but obviously he had slept with him the day before.

I did what I had to do ... I kidnapped the cat Joanie.

Moustache.

But this asshole cat would not get caught, he jumped from furniture furniture myself spitting anger. When I put my hands on it, it got scratched and bitten.

I had to take my jacket.

Fucking cat.

An alley cat gray-faced hypocrite. The kind cat so spoiled by his mistress that he thinks that all humans are soft and stupid.

Already, the cat fell on my nerves. Especially the way he stared at me when he saw my old rusty car.

It seemed to say: "My old man, with a car like that, you do not Pogner many women!"

When I got home, I pulled out the digital camera and I tied the legs Chat with rope.

Then I tried to put a blindfold on the cat but the bastard was struggling, he moved his head vigorously from left to right.

After fifteen minutes of effort, the cat has finally been blindfolded.

I took some pictures with the camera and I loosened my victim in my apartment, taking care to give him a few pieces of roast chicken to make him forget the unpleasant past five minutes it had passed.

He literally swallowed the chicken. I guess this context that had eaten some food, stick his whole life.

He licked his lips, gazing at me as a hero, begging to have yet to discover with amazement that the world had more to offer than Meow Mix .

And I was the access to this new happiness.

At that time, the cat was not hurt unless its costs.

I printed the photos and the effect I was satisfied. With its legs tied and blindfolded, the cat seemed to be the hostage of a dangerous killer.

SUNDAY:

In an Internet café boulevard Taschereau, I created a bogus email account and I sent a photo of Joanie cat with a short text: "I want your cat hostage if you want to see him again, I want $ 1000.

MONDAY:

When I arrived at work, it was the crowd in the staff room. There was Milena, Crystal, Andréane, Joanie and Jason.

- ... I can not believe it! Pushed Crystal.

- There are people who have no heart! Milena insisted.

- What's going on? I asked.

They all returned to me, Joanie had tears in his eyes.

- There's a maniac who hurt Moustache! She said, sobbing.

on the employee table, there was the photo taken the day before the cat she had carefully printed.

- I'll find the dog fucking dirty, this guy is going to pay! Yelled Jason.

To shake a little confidence couple Joanie / Jason, I added for Jason: "How do you know that the kidnapper is a man??"

all eyes were turned towards him.

- Uh ... Well ... I guess, "he stammered.

I read in the eyes of Joanie, doubt.

Bingo!

the evening when I returned home, Joanie's cat looked angry. I arrived later than usual and I forgot to give him pieces of chicken.

I gave him a sermon on gratitude, that instead of being angry for not having his ration of food for a few hours, to be grateful for a home that does is not a cage and food that is not dry or stick.

After all, I owed him nothing.

Moustache suddenly became more submissive. He began to understand that here it was not like at Joanie. He was not the boss.

Tuesday :

Max Gaucho, the former hard-bitten my high school.

Of course, now he has ordered, he worked in construction for fifteen years, it is no longer the young offender once he is even a senior member of his union.

But its anatomy killer was still impressive. He had the body of a gorilla and the head of an orc in The Lord of the Rings , but uglier.

I had found on Facebook for about six months. In the morning, he accepted me encounter after a request from me.

In a snack, he quickly told me he was on strike right now, but that his union would not allow herself to the government's interest to resolve the problem in the building before seeing several skeletons out of closets. I told him that, like everyone else, I could not care for his stories and construction policy in the con, I had far greater problems.

- Why you wanted to see me? Me he asked.

- I need you for a small mission. I'm ready you to pay 2000 bucks.

He listened and suddenly shut its mouth.

I explained my plan.

Later, I parked in the back of the parking Panini well hidden. It was nearly 22h. Joanie went out one minute to another.

Probably with Jason, she would not walk alone in the parking lot since she was attacked.

In fact, she had so with Jason, but my plan did not work.

I watched Max Gaucho sitting on my right.

- or convincing, I said.

He smiled. Fuck, it was even more ugly when he smiled.

- worry not, for 2000 bucks I'll be very persuasive.

As I thought, Joanie was released along with Jason. Max is suddenly descended on my car and walked with heavy steps towards the future ex-couple ...

- Jason Morin? Requested Max aggressive.

Jason and Joanie were returned to approaching the unknown.

- Uh ... Yes? Replied Jason.

The brute took Jason by the throat.

- Tony sent me to have the 1000 bucks you owe him! It is starting to get impatient!

Jason did not understand.

- I ... I ... J'connais not Tony!

Max threw Jason pit.

- You got three days to pay or I'll break your legs!

He then looked at Joanie.

- You'd better choose your lovers, your boyfriend is nothing worse than a fucking liar crossers!

Joanie's face was to be convulsed with laughter.

The giant left the couple who took to their heels inside the Panini.

Once in my car, I sped away. Max Gaucho had accomplished its mission with a perfect perfection ...

Trust had just taken a nasty blow. The couple was collapsing like a tower. I was a terrorist Cupid falling in love in their Boeing.

Moustache and I slept well that night.

chicken still on the edge of the mouth.

WEDNESDAY:

the same Internet cafe, I send another email with another photo of her cat demanding a ransom of $ 1000 as soon as possible.

Then I created another fake email and I sent a second anonymous message to Joanie. This one said: "I know who has kidnapped your cat is Jason. He needs money to pay Tony."

Returning home, Moustache waiting at the foot of the door. Yet he had his food.

I think it begins to focus on me.

Or chicken.

THURSDAY:

At 10 states, Xavier and I were in the phone booth Esso across the street from Jason. I handed him a written paper, he took the phone and dialed the number Joanie.

- If you want your cat, it is with Jason, come quick before he kills him!

It hung up, I was satisfied with satisfaction ...

Then I gave a hundred bucks to Xavier for the service.

I was in my car, took a cardboard box and I headed home Jason.

Moustache I pulled the box, we looked for a moment. I know exactly what he thought: He did not see me go. Jason, no chicken.

I told him that we would see, that I would become his adoptive father and that I would soon cover the chicken.

Moustache smiled.

much as before I thought it was a hypocritical face, now I think he has a friendly face.

It's crazy how we see things changes when you take the time to discover them and know them.

I laid on the balcony of Jason and I knocked on the door, saving me the race to go hide in my car.

Five minutes later, Joanie arrived.

Fifteen minutes later, she left with her cat in her arms, makeup running in tears.

THIS MORNING:

When I arrived at work, the first thing I knew was that Joanie had broken up with Jason. The con had kidnapped her cat to pay its debts to the Mafia.

Apparently he had vigorously defended by saying that someone had knocked on the door and he found the cat in the opening, but Joanie did not believe him and had slapped before breaking.

( smiling with joy) ...

Mission accomplished.

( Silence) ...

At the end of this afternoon, after our work day, I asked Joanie to take a drink, just to build confidence between us.

She said she wanted to take a break men, right now, all she wanted to castrate them.

Joanie

This is a real tigress.

And no offense to the singer Marjo ...

I tame this wild cat.

Because after all, a woman ... it is not so different from Moustache.

* Photo: http://crions.hautetfort.com/tag/Marjo

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's disease

I decided I want to Joanie marry. discussion with my mother convinced me and, especially, the diagnosis of my doctor.

I know, I know ... I live with Joanie forced to suffer seeing regularly without being able to touch for the rest of my days, beautiful sister Crystal .

malheuseument I'll have to give up because in an old fantasy wife Joan, my chances with her sister to destroy completely.

But that's become a priest or .

I'm ready.

Ready to destroy the relationship between Jason and Joanie . Ready to fight the enemy to acquire what must be mine.

Joannie's heart.

The ideal end to my blog for the story I told you from the beginning.

You know, like me, I can not finish a bachelor. Things must end well, that's how in Hollywood.

When you work hard and you have a specific goal, there is always rewarded.

is the law of life. Worse

the doctor confirmed to me that law .

I introduced myself to the doctor. After three hours of waiting ... waiting

I swear, there are people that clogs our health care system for nothing. Imagine, in the waiting room there was a lady who wanted to see the doctor to stop smoking.

See a doctor to stop smoking, tabarnak!

How can a doctor be useful for that?? On hand to give a kick in the ass to anyone who wants to stop smoking, I do not see.

Stop clogging the health care system for such fucking nonsense!

I sat in front of the doc.

I had an important question to ask. If I have to spend the rest of my life with Joanie, I must know what are all these bizarre symptoms I feel in his presence .

- Can someone be allergic, doctor?

He smiled.

- Of course not. You can be allergic to a perfume or clothing she wears, but not to proper person.

- I do not understand. I'm allergic to absolutely nothing, but in the presence of my friend Joanie, my hands get sweaty, my legs trembling, my heart pounding, I said.

The doc laughed even more.

- What you telling me, dear friend, this is not an allergy, was love.

Huh?? It was con

this doctor or what??

- Can this be love, I think Joanie less beautiful than her sister!

- Does the smell of your friend Joanie strangely takes you into a trance and stimulates your libido?

I goggled eyes.

- Yes, yes! Exactly! I'm sick?

- Sort of. You love sickness, "he said again.

I did not know what to think.

I found this doctor completely absurd while wondering how he could help people quit smoking.

( Silence) ...

I thought long and the sayings of the physician.

It is true that I am very comfortable with Joanie. Despite my symptoms, I feel very good when it is near me.

hard to believe that half of our relationship was now official by the fact that I was in love. Only remained to convince Joanie and we had a complete pair.

YES, YES! Was halfway done! I have never been so close to being a couple!

But ...

Crystal, the sister of the woman of my life ...

( Sigh) ... I

difficult to definitively put a cross on it.

Then there is the friend of Joanie.

task suddenly seemed difficult and complicated.

But I rubbed my hands rubbing together ...

Because you know me, I like challenges, especially when medical science is on my side.

Fuck Crystal, I have no time to wait, I still have three months to find a woman and fuck Jason, anyway it's too shabby for Joanie.

worse if the diagnosis of the disease doc is love, I will not fight against my fate.

I'll take the bull by the horn of the feet! In

Panini throughout the evening, I started to compliment compliments Joanie ...

"Wow, I love your eyes!"
"Wow, I love your lips!"
"Wow, I love your beads! "

But my passionate attacks did not seem to shake it.

I had to go further to impress him.

The next day I asked my young brother Xavier and two of his friends (and a pimply maganées teeth) if they wanted to make a hundred dollars each.

The three have told me yes without hesitation.

The plan was simple.

Joanie was leaving the restaurant to 22h by the rear door reserved for employees. Xavier and his two friends had to pretend to attack him for Joanie and I bite her bag, I just had to disembark from the car to fight against nicks thieves and save my future wife.

I parked my car in a dark corner of the park employees, about twenty meters from the door. The three teens were with me, to Xavier, the other two behind.

- You're sure it'll be alright? Requested Xavier, a little worried.

- Yes, yes, no danger. We pretend to fight and save you running the race. That's it. Joanie falls in love with me and we'll be a couple. The doctor knows whereof he speaks. The pimply young

left laughing.

- It's the hundred bucks most easily won in my entire life! He said.

- I think I'll become an actor! It pays worse Easy! A chuckle the other teeth crooked.

We stayed silent for a moment.

9:55 p.m..

- Ok, guys. Exit the car and go wait by the door, behind the small wall there. When Joanie goes out, you jump on it, I ordered.

Face buttons seemed perplexed.

- Yes, but ... how do you recognize?

I shrugged, looking through the rearview mirror.

- Do not worry, it will come out next, it ends at 22h.

- Yes, but ... of a sudden they attack the poor girl piped up curved teeth.

- They are right, how do you know if we attack well Joanie? Requested Xavier.

I began to lose patience.

- Your Yeul! This is the next will come out the worse it all! Come on, let's go , it will be out in two minutes!

Face buttons were still puzzled. Really, I wanted to shave his face at the con.

- Do you know at least the color of the clothes she wears? He asked.

- Or the color of her hair! Added fuckées teeth.

- Does she have a tattoo or a visible scar? Continued Xavier.

- A sketch something? A still applied across from volcanoes.

I freaked out. Really, these three young people were more hollow than Dalton !

- Tabarnak! Do you want your one hundred bucks?? Get off the tank and attack the next girl who goes out so I can finally get married! Am I yelled.

They seemed annoyed but still down from the car.

- No need to shout, bro ... We're pros, we just want to ensure that Work will be done well, "said Xavier before closing the door.

Pros, yeah! That's it!

Pros bullshit, rather!

The three fools, imitating awkwardly but earnestly ninjas, went behind the wall.

They were anything but discreet, I could hear them complaining to my car. They wore hoods and went head turns to watch the door Panini, seriously, they could not have looked more suspicious than that.

Joanie came out to 10:07 p.m..

As expected.

It was now time to inject a good dose of love sickness in the veins of my future wife.

I landed on my car and myself started running toward her at a time when the three young Cagoulards threw themselves on it.

She screamed.

I was at least six feet when the door opened noisily employees and Jason, his cook's uniform on his back, without waiting, rushed on youth.

I braked a jerk, stunned amazement.

( Sigh) ...

Teens ate a bad fly.

A real massacre. Jason has beaten to punch in the face and kick in the stomach without receiving a single blow. The young

with crooked teeth was literally straighten teeth.

They still managed to save themselves by race.

Meanwhile, I went back to hide in my car.

( Silence) ... Observing

stealthily through the windshield, I saw Joanie hug Jason. They have long embraced. I was so jealous

and furiously angry that I almost get out of the car to beat Jason myself ...

But I know I will not win that way.

Physically, this young snotty twenty years, whittled, is beyond my strength.

I have to fight with my assets. You know me, I'm crafty, intelligent and have access to a lot of cash.

I'll invest the $ 50,000 given to me by Fanny base for his conquest. Jason, this little shit cook, will not follow me with his salary of fourteen bucks an hour.

He won the first round, but not fighting.

Nobody can beat Patrick The Conqueror!

I'll do Joanie and me a happy couple.

is my mission before my forty years.

Even if it costs a fortune, I'll give him the love sickness.

( Looking skyward ) ...

I just hope that my disease is contagious.

* Photo: http://theoriedetout.tchatcheblog.com/

Rasta Designs For Cakes

love Dad and child-TV ...

Fanny gave me 50.000 bucks I deposited in my account. The check

Fanny has gone well, I'm now a rich short term.

I do not know if I will use this money to Pogner Joanie, the future target of my fantasies. But One thing is certain, by then, all the money I earn will go to as a perfect man in the eyes of Joanie .

short, it is not made then ...

My sister Stephanie came to me without warning. When she entered, the state of my apartment was suddenly worried.

- How do you manage to live without a microwave?? She asked.

I shrugged.

- I do not know how I can live for short ... Sit down.

She still looked at my apartment.

- Seriously ... This is really BS, you, me "she said.

- I have a lot more money than I look.

She left laughing.

- Anyway ... It's pointless to have money if you show it to others!

I sighed a sigh, pointing to my bed, the only furniture in my apartment ...

- Sit down, "I repeated.

She would not ask her precious ass on my bed.

- I will not stay long ... Listen, Pat ... Daddy's dying.

was indeed the last of my worries.

- I have not seen dad for at least twenty-five years. I do do not give a fuck.

She looked at me sadly.

- Go and visit. You never know, his legacy will be interesting.

- How could he built a fortune? He lives in a psychiatric institute, Steph!

She moved towards the door.

- Do not come crying if he is rich and you do not find his will.

She left me.

Then I thought about it. She may be right.

So my father is a millionaire and that legacy is impressive.

Yes. It's probably a call of destiny. The call Last chance.

If dad can die quickly and leave me a huge fortune, Joanie will be more than happy!

With my father I would perhaps find the girl I want to cram the rest of my days.

I took my car and drove for two hours in the direction of the institute where he was interned for twenty-seven years.

At that time, Dad, Parisian living in Quebec since childhood, was an electrician who cherished a dream.

For fifteen years he had carefully written a philosophical novel with the title: The last temptation of Socrates.

Unable to find a publisher after the book finished, he placed all his money to print 10,000 copies of his book.

In one year, eighteen copies were sold.

My mother wasted no time. Seeing his material comfort threatened, she initiated divorce proceedings. To meet, six months later, with Vincent's homophobic, owner of a jewelry again traveling on the gold ...

Bankruptcy combined with the loss of my mother has completely made trip my father.

One evening he entered a television station with a huge ax in his hands.

He blows destroyed all the equipment he was on his way, shouting that everything was the fault of the TV, that his novel did not sell because the world does more thinking, that people had become morons, superficial and individualistic, that the population was brainwashed to always buy more useless stuff.

Fortunately, nobody was injured.

The last time I saw him was at twelve years he was live on television, an ax in his hands, trying to strip naked because he did more wear clothing manufactured by companies that exploit children.

The signal was cut off just when his dad retired underwear.

I asked to see my father, the guard asked his name.

- Patrick Duval, "I said.

- And your name?

- Duval Patrick Junior.

He made me wait in the lobby of the institute a good fifteen minutes, then the same guard and a nurse came to meet me.

- Mr. Duval? A nurse asked.

- Yes.

- I'm sorry to say Your father is very ill, is his heart. It is weakening day by day.

- Is it possible to see it?

She looked at the keeper a minute.

- Okay ... Anyway, it is more dangerous, he has more strength. It has a lot of weight in recent months, you might get a shock, "she said.

- I have not seen for twenty-seven years. I expect a shock.

The nurse seemed even more desolate.

- I understand. Please follow me.

The guard remained in the lobby, I followed the nurse until my father's room.

It was there, sleeping.

old, stunted and thin. Very thin.

It was more vigorous and portly man who was holding an ax on television.

I regret now that image of him.

An old weakling.

The nurse left us alone. I sat on a wooden chair near her head.

After a few minutes he opened his eyes and turned to me.

Pupils absent, the look off.

He smiled.

- Patrick, he painfully said.

I smiled to myself. He recognized me.

- My name is Patrick, he added.



Ok ... It does not recognize me at all.

- It's me, Dad. Junior.

- Yes ... Yes ... The child-TV.

Huh?? The child-

TV??

- No daddy, I, Junior!

- Child-TV spent long hours watching television, his mother being too busy reading magazines. Whole days. The child-TV wanted everything saw the ads if he was crying. The child-TV always wanted more, the child's appetite-TV had dug through the TV.

What the fucking fuck ??

He was in another world, I do not understand what he said.

Who is the child-TV??

- Listen dad, so I came here is to get info on your financial status.

- As we age, the child-TV has lost the true values, replaced by the superficial, he is influenced and blind child-TV mix love and comfort, it has poor cultural references, he loves him but wants to be loved by everyone, he lies and disguises himself to give the impression of being beautiful, child-TV takes its examples of TV, TV-child does not fill its own needs, the child-TV wants to be rich.

- You have a will, Dad?

- These are the multinationals who feed the TV a stupor, so that the child-TV is stupid, it should not perceive that he is manipulated, the child-TV believes in impossible dreams, victim vampires of all empires that suck money from the pockets of child-TV. It is pornography, profanity and violence banal, what are his references, he is looking for thrills, it's drinking or drug use, child-TV knows to communicate with the opposite sex, he invented the Internet, it no longer distinguish between reality and fiction, children's television-live in extreme consumption.

- Listen dad, I need to know if you got a lot of money, my future depends on it.

- Child-TV measures the value of a man by his financial status, the child prefers TV-learn about hair color Madonna on the state of the planet by his unconsciousness he destroys the world, the child-TV gives too much importance to himself, he is unable to cope, it needs logos, brands and companies to survive, the child knows-TV more love for others, the child is in love with tele- himself, the child-TV in the skull stuffed Posts individualistic, child-TV does worry him, he destroys love and replace it with money.

I came to the conclusion that my old brain was completely melted.

Obsessed with the child-TV. Probably a character from a television in his youth.

Poor Dad, there's no way to contact him, he is now senile.

This man can not have any money. I wasted my time, it is absurd to believe that old fool could get rich from his room in a psychiatric institute.

I took my father's hand one last time.

( Silence ) ...

- I know you're not proud of me, Dad, that's why I never came to see you. I am too ashamed of what I am. A restaurant server without money. I would have liked to be a great actor or a singer, but I'm a loser. I'm sorry, Dad, for having failed at everything, I'm not even able to find a wife and raise a family. I'm more pathetic than a reality.

I felt that my father's eyes turned, as if suddenly, he was present.

- Child-TV does not know his job, his wealth and status civilians are not important to his father, they are not real values. The child-TV is not a loser, it's the TV that makes him believe he is one.

He gently closed his eyes and began to snore.

Yes.

My father is well and truly gone crazy.

* Photo: http://chezaglae.canalblog.com/

How Many Watts In A Flashlight?

Another interview!

A big thank you to Simon Peter Goulet Canoe.tv who made a video I, as part of a special bloggers.

http://fr.video.canoe.tv/recherche/Pat% 20Duval/pourquoi-bloguer-pat-duval/441732073001

Pis y 'as an article

http://lejournaldequebec.canoe.ca/journaldequebec/artsetspectacles/encoreplus/archives/2010/08/20100809-111539.html

Yes, I know.

I'm becoming a superstar.

( sigh of joy) ... Worse

pogne it with the girls!

* Photo: © Philippe-Olivier Contant / Agency QMI

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The love of a mother is priceless

My mother gave me a hot chocolate.

- You do not seem to go, Ti-wolf.

I sighed a sigh ...

- I do not know ... I destroyed by'm like inside.

She looked at me a moment with her impatiently.

- If you came to see me, tell me something. That speaks worse quickly, my emissions afternoon start in twenty minutes.

I shrugged.

- Lets make ... Anyway, I have no desire to talk.

- Stop acting like the spoiled child speaks worse!

Mom was right. If I was here because I wanted to talk to someone.

- I ... I know what to do. No woman wants me, Mom. I'm so desperate.

- It's not because you take care of you, Ti-wolf. Fitness a bit, played sports, stop smoking, going to the tanning salon. Women like men who look much worse you, well ... you're a little worse pretty lean're white as a sheet.

So, I wanted to beat her.

- I can not become a man sex is too long. I must be a man of money.

My mother looked at me a strange look strangely ...

- I do not understand ...

- I'll be forty years in three and a half months, I do not leave enough time to train and find a wife.

- What are you talking about, Ti-loup?? You will not die at forty! She listened

ever or what??

- I told you a thousand times that at forty I stop and get me a woman and I become a priest.

She callee in his chair, annoyed.

- Not Yet this story of a priest shit! The priests, that's not a penny!

- No problem. At least I'm more obsessed with women, I will devote my life to God.

She was angry.

- The only god that exists is in my wallet and my bank account! It's not praying that you get what you want in life, is in charge. The old

really starting to piss me off.

- Listen Mom, I have no fucking money, women want bad guys with cash. Do the math, I have no chance! God will become an alternative to women, I will focus on him instead to concentrate on vaginas.

I thought she was crying.

- But I do not understand Ti-wolf! You were so simple a boy raised. Of your three years until you leave the house, you listened eight to twelve hours of television every day, quietly. You did not have many friends and was often alone but to compensate for all that, I'll buy all the toys you wanted. I was paying you fashionable clothes each year, I dug a swimming pool for you and your sister, you had all the video games, a scooter, a car at sixteen, a beautiful leather coat, I have everything making everything easy for you either. Can you tell me why your life is so complicated now??

I knew not what to say in response ...

- I ... I feel like my job, my financial status and my vital statistics are crap. In fact, my life is crap.

Mom looked at his watch.

- Do you want me to do a check for two thousand bucks? You'll be able to shop, go to the movies and go dancing, it will cheer you up.

- No, Mom! You understand nothing, or what?? It's not money I want is not clothing, outings or dance! I do not know how to say ... I ... I need more. It's like a big lump in my stomach. I think I need ... someone?

She nodded.

- I know what you need! A trip! You want me to pay a trip to Mexico?

( Sigh) ...

I looked at my mother. I felt a funny feeling. As if I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

- I mixed in my head, Mom ... I feel that my values fall to pieces, everything is empty, everyone is just an image and that behind it is nothing.

She seemed worried.

- The real values are easy to target, Ti-loup ... Is better than your neighbors in everything and you felt a tremendous satisfaction. It is there, the key to a fulfilling life: Always be better than its neighbors. For that, you have to beat you, you must eliminate all those who want the same thing as you. Life is a jungle and the king is not the strongest but the richest and most to be rich you must exclude others from your path.

As a speech coach, I suddenly saw the light.

Fight.

Yes, I had to fight.

Mom was right, I must rule out other of my way, there's only me that counts. If everyone had the intelligence to adopt this philosophy, the company will never look better. In

Panini, there's still one of my coworkers who I have not attempted reconciliation.

Joanie. The blonde

Jason.

I have three and a half months to convince her to marry me.

Fuck Jason, I'll beat him and cut into pieces.

( Silence) ...

Nothing better than a loving mother to put her son on track fundamental values.

* Photo: http://www.antonines-hazmieh.edu.lb/prescolaire.html

Why Would A Neonate Need Antioxidants

Wild Camping

In Panini, there is a chief diver named Greg , 36.

Here, I speak lifeguard pool or scuba diving, no, I mean the head of dirty dishes dirt ...

In fact, Greg is the handyman the restaurant. He spent the morning Apire, it changes the bulbs burned, he fixes things that break in the kitchen, he even made lasagna on occasion.

A guy of many talents.

Anyway ...

He spent the summer at a campground. In a trailer he bought three years ago.

Friday night, he approached me.

- Duval ... I want to ask you if it tempts you to spend a night at my campsite.

What the fucking fuck ??

I found it odd. I mean, this guy, I never saw him outside the job, he was the shy and reserved kind. He did his work in silence and discretion.

- Uh ... Sorry. I'm more of a luxury hotel, camping, I find it too cheesy, I replied.

He blushed.

- Because ... I need your help.

I laughed. A handyman who needed help, I found it funny.

No?

- What is happening, my Greg?

- There are two girls who have leased the land next to mine for the summer. I do not know how to break the ice. It's been six weeks since ...

- Six weeks too bad you do not even kissed one of the two?? I shouted, interrupting Greg.

It became even redder.

- Uh ... Basically, that's it ...

I felt sorry for Greg.

- It's true dude. You need help, 'I said, patting his shoulder.

I arrived at his trailer on Saturday night. He was trying to cook two steaks on the grill.

He handed me a beer.

- You're camping alone? I asked him.

- Yeah. But my friends often come to see me.

I doubted his words. I saw his record Facebook, it was only 18 friends two thirds of which were his family and another tier of TV stars.

The guy treated me like a king. He made me an excellent supper, he rolled joints and beer provided. The kind of friend that I have.

- So this girl? Have I asked curiously.

He named the nearby trailer with his chin.

- Both girls live in this trailer, they come back from the beach at seven o'clock every day.

I looked at my watch: 18.45 in the evening ...

- You're sure this is not lesbians homosexual? Have I asked cautiously.

- No, no, there is one of two who has a friend who often comes to visit, I saw them kissing.

Ok I trust the decision of Greg.

When the girls arrived, I should have guessed, they looked like two trucks drain in a bikini. At least passed the milestone of 35 years.

Horror! Old women!

I hate the women of my age.

Because ...

Oh no worse! I do not want to talk now.

So, the girl who was the heart of pinball Greg looked the third zombie that you see in the video Thriller Michael Jackson of .

I watched Greg disappointed.

- In any case, my Greg, you're not a gas difficult. That girl, she is definitely super easy to Pogner.

- Yes, but ... I do not know how to approach it.

( Sigh) ...

I could not let the poor Greg like that, I had to show him how.

- Listen Greg, I'll fix you up instantly, but takes notes. I will not always be there.

He took me in his arms to thank me, really he was desperate. More than me.

I got up and headed toward the trailer of the two monsters.

I passed the entrance to their field. I knew by their looks (in the nose piercing, tattoos in the lower back) that they were not accustomed to respect.

other words, they were the kind of girl with whom we do not put white gloves. In fact, it does no glove at all.

- Hi girls, I said in a tone charmer.

Both girls greeted me.

- Are you a lesbian?

They are watched with a sigh.

- were buddies, coronations us peace big cellar! Said the old hag who had a boyfriend.

- You're wasting your time here! Said another.

Really, for two ugly, they had character.

I pointed one that interested my friend.

- You, you got no boyfriend, absolutely. You're not beautiful enough.

She shrugged and said, 'Are you going to consecrate our patience tabarnak?! "

I clamped down to show them that I was the man here. This behavior always excites such women.

- Ok, stop your attitude or I crowned my camp for real! With the side you got, I do not think you can afford the luxury of getting shit guys interested in you. You're still more than thirty years, you're not very cool.

They remained frozen.

I continued, pointing to Greg on his land: "My friend over there, he unexpectedly finds you to his taste, but is too shy. Would you come and talk with him later tonight?"

Greg byebye quite a hand in the distance.

- Your friend is not my style, "she spat.

I started to laugh.

- Hahaha! You got a kind?? With your anatomy, your place, I'd settle first-come! You look like a BS, just tell me you got a kind! Hahaha!

- Go and shit, fucking cellar! Your friend looks like a fag!

She suddenly started laughing.

- Worse you too did you look like a fag, "she added. She

angry angry ...

- A real penis, it seems to me that you change your vibrator, fucking bitch! The other crazy

decided to intervene.

- Shut Yeul, fucking innocent!

I watched him from head to foot, full of disgust.

- I did not know that hippoppotames talking!

Both women were furious fury ...

- Will in or call the police!

I have watched the one that interested Greg.

- In any case, you just miss your destiny. I wanted you to serve, you make a gift of love, not cry if you end your life alone!

No, but you must admit, these two girls were crazy or what??

For once, my charm had not operated.

I could not understand how they had managed to resist me.

There was only one explanation that could explain everything ...

( Silence) ...

When I came back at Greg, he was excited to know.

- And then? It went well?

I made a long sigh.

- I had you said Greg ...

- What?

- These girls are lesbians.

* Photo: http://www.a440.fr/sitejoomla2/fr/info-pratique.html

Why Does It Say Temp Visitor On My Ny License

Take your time relaxing

"Mom, it finiiiiii! !! " Looks like the little green man from Just for Laughs .

Yeah. The holidays are over. They made me do good.

I was a little tired of fatigue in recent months. You've probably noticed, the publication of my notes were becoming increasingly rare. At

strength to to consistently rejected by women, it ends up giving a blow to morality. I did not know if my quest for the perfect woman still had meaning.

Because, admittedly, from the time I try I came to the conclusion that a perfect woman, well ... Does not exist. Seven criteria

ten may be too much. I feel I do not give a fair chance for women to put their sticks in the wheels.

In fact, my list does that limit the number of females who want to meet me.

Aunt Simone, faithful reader of my blog, and I had a long discussion about it.

- You judge too fast women, you're too pressed, change your approach, take your time, me she said.

I shrugged.

- Why change?

- It broadens your horizons, it lets you see life from another angle.

Seriously, I understood nothing of what she told me.

Before leaving, she gave me a book on marital relations, entitled: " Time is on my side .

After reading it, everything was clear, I decided to change my approach.

I'll take the time to know the girl before the judge. Sometimes our vision of people changes when we take time to know them, which means that a girl who seems to lack a particular criterion can perhaps be developed.

So instead of jumping on the girl as I've been doing, I'll take the time to talk and listen. In the book, he said that it shows independence. And independence, women love it very much.

But I should not take too long, anyway. You know, I have less than four months before the end of my pact. If I have no women to marry at the age of 40 years, I'll become a priest .

26 November 2010.

Anyway ...

All that to say that during my vacation, I met a woman. Internet.

I know, I know, since I raped I vowed never to attend to women via the web. But if you had seen the girl, you'd also managed to overcome any phobia.

A Thai of Thailand was born in Quebec ...

A beautiful girl, I used to frequent. Maya. 29.

When I saw him for the first time, by instinct, I tried to calculate its criteria on my list.

Then ... I found myself con.

I had to go further than my standards, I had to take my time and know that person before the judge.

We went for a drink, just to talk and break the ice.

She and I talked about our families, our work, our ex, our passions, our hobbies. It was cool.

more I listened, the more I wanted to kiss her and I wanted to kiss it, the less I listened ...

So at some point, I realized I did not even know what she was talking about, all I saw was ... Doggy Style .

I got up to go to the bathroom. I had to put water in the face and regain my senses. Gender was telling me mad.

I looked in the mirror.

- Why change? I told myself.

Then, a phrase book Time Is On My Side appeared in my head: "A man who is too quick reconciliations in love shows a lack of confidence."

The problem was not lack of trust but rather an excessive libido. But who knows? Perhaps women perceive this as a lack of confidence.

I talked to my penis, I told him said that it was not he who controlled the situation. Now, the watchword was: Patience.

When I returned, I did not look well.

- okay? Requested Maya.

- Excuse me. I think it's hot here, we go there?

I could not stay. Everything I wanted to do was jump on him to snatch his clothes.

As I am in the midst of change, I did not want to risk returning to my basic instincts.

I was accompanying her directly at her.

- I spent a wonderful evening, "she said.

I knew it was a sentence inviting me to take action, but I restrained myself saying: "Take your time, Pat. Take your time."

- I wish we meet again, "she added.

- Yes ... Uh ... I'm very busy these days.

She did an air which said: "What the fuck ? "

- Ok .. So call me when you're free.

I nodded yes and I filed without even trying to kiss her.

I was proud of me. For once, I took the time to look beyond my list of criteria. I acted like a man.

So I waited four weeks before the recall.

But she beat me. After twenty-eight days without news, she wrote me an email asking me if I would accompany him to see a show of comedy. She had won two tickets.

I said ok.

We met at the theater, we went inside, we watched the show and then I was her home. Always

without kissing.

I really impressed by myself. I had become a serious man, a man who acted more like a teenager, but as a normal person.

Maya had to find me perfect. A man who shows no feelings is a real man. It proves he has his feet firmly on the ground that it is not a crazy head.

Why change?

Just to become more mature.

I waited another week before the recall.

Again, she beat me to it. After seven days of silence, she wrote me another email to ask if I wanted to have dinner with her.

I said ok.

the restaurant, she looked stressed.

- You know, Pat ... I would not mind to ... Be more often ... If you have time, of course.

I nodded.

- Three times in five weeks, I find it not bad, I replied.

I was to demonstrate the display of my independence. This girl was definitely want me up.

- Yes, but ... It's just me, I ... How to tell? I am looking for something more serious.

I immediately knew she was trying to trap me.

was obvious.

She wanted to see if I was truly independent. She was trying to impose on me an ultimatum to take control of our couple.

I had to resist the temptation to kiss her and tell her that I wanted to see her every day. I had to.

The future of my relationship with Maya depended on it.

- Listening Maya, you are very beautiful, interesting and intelligent but I'm in no hurry. I am an independent man.

- Yes ... I see it.

Hahaha! I had no doubt, this girl was in love with me.

My independence was probably sparked a fountain in her underwear.

And I'm not talking about urine.

After the restaurant, I was her home without kissing her.

The book I read was right. In love, must take his time. Maya would probably be my future wife.

I waited two weeks before the recall.

This time, it does not beat me.

I had decided that the big day arrived, Maya had waited long enough, she was entitled to his sweet, that is to say me.

When she answered her cell, she seemed surprised to hear me.

- Hi Maya! It tells you to go have a drink tonight?

- Uh ... I do not know how to tell you this, Pat, but ... I now have a boyfriend.

She hung up.

( Silence) ...

At the beginning of the text, I told you that my vacation did me well.

is true.

The failure of Maya showed me something.

Even if I change, the result is the same.

So ...

Why change?

* Photo: http://library.duke.edu/blogs/libraryhacks/2009/10/