New Zealand Drivers Lisence Template

Two things at once

two months to find me a wife. Sixty-two days. On November 26 next, the date of the closing date ...

If I become a servant of God and forget girls forever. Anyway, November 26 I will be forty years, forty years is bad too old to find a woman female ...

I know what you'll say, it is never too late to find love.

Fuck off, I want a woman between twenty and thirty years, I am not an old lady, too bad about forty years removed my chances to get your hands on a young person.

Forty years ...

( Sigh) ...

It fucking old. I can not believe I went there. Soon the rest of my life.

No, in less than two months, it will be too late to find a woman with a body acceptable. I know I am repeating myself but I prefer that to become a priest to attend a woman my age.

Anyway ...

I Crystal . The beautiful Crystal. The beautiful Crystal. The sublime Crystal. The fucking Crystal.

Since his sister told me I had no luck with Crystal , my obsession, I want her to be the woman of my life for the rest of my life ...

My plan is simple. I'll coax Crystal, sleep with her and make her pregnant. That way, she has no choice to marry me. I will force the destiny.

Completed my celibacy!

I know, I know, I know ... You think I look not at the beginning I wanted Joanie's sister Crystal, Crystal worse now I want.

What do you want? There are just fools never change their minds.

worse anyway, I have not made a final cross on Joanie. It is now my plan B. If Crystal wants to know anything about me, at least I'll have another alternative.

There are people who say that chasing two girls at once, you end up losing both. I say that chasing two girls at once, we are given two times more likely.

When I arrived at my job, Joanie and discussed in the Crystal Room Employees Panini.

I decided not to waste time and attack now. Everyone knows he must fight and do it while it's hot ...

Crystal and I looked at Joanie ignored by filing my uniform on the table where sat the girls.

- Hi Crystal, you're beautiful legs today.

She looked at me like I was a fool.

- I know the basement, I have changed this weekend, "she replied.

The two girls went to laugh at me.

I wanted to kick in the face but I restrained myself. I still just two months to find a woman, it was not time to go to jail.

I pretended to laugh too.

- Hahaha! She is good! I said, chuckling.

They watched me, surprised by my reaction.

- Wow! I believe it! You, sir likely, laughing a joke at your expense ! Joanie replied.

- You have to be really good mood ... According to me you kissed last night, "said Crystal.

I took the opportunity while remaining subtle.

- Speaking of kissing ... Crystal, if it tempts you, I invite you to dinner tomorrow.

She sighed a sigh of sarcasm ...

- Forget it, Duval. The only time you will kiss together, it's in your head when you masturbate, coldly replied Crystal.

I was a little shocked.

- In any case, Crystal, you know not what you lack. I am an expert in fucking fight.

- In fucking fight?

- If you want to know just what is coming to dinner with me tomorrow night.

The girls are watched, intrigued.

- Go Pat, what a fucking fighter? A curiously asked Joanie.

Seriously ... I had no idea.

I started this, like this, because I thought it was manly, I thought it was male, it's exhilarating libido. I had not thought they would be arrested in this detail.

- Ben ... Uh ... A fighter fuck is ... Aaah, not worse. If you want to know, just dinner with me tomorrow night.

Crystal shakes his head.

- I think I know what is a fucking fight, "said Crystal.

There ... I did not know what to say.

- Oh yeah? Go ahead, tell us, 'I replied.

- It's semen when you bomb a girl's face.

What The Fucking fuck ??

- WHAT?

- Andréane already told us that you are the Cellar point think that women like sperm in the face , Crystal said, disgusted with disdain ...

Colosseum! Again this??

- Cum in the face is not so bad, sheepishly admitted Joanie.

Crystal looked at his sister with an urge to vomit.

- It's degrading and unacceptable!

- At least your sister knows fun! I immediately replied.

- I take my naughty side, "said Joanie laughs.

I sat in front of Crystal. What she was beautiful. I could not help me unload on her face.

- You know, Crystal, fate is unpredictable. You are perhaps the woman of my life without knowing it.

Crystal shrugged while his sister laughed wickedly.

- It seems you've already said the same thing, Joanie laughed.

If Plan B was to close the mouth a bit, I might be likely to get an appointment with the plane A.

- Huh? Tell me why I could not not be the man in your life? I asked Crystal.

She sighed, as if she wanted to get rid of me.

- Because you do not like it.

- What do you like me home?

- I do not know ... your tank is rotten, like.

Is that all?

- If it's just for that, believe me, I'll buy a new tank, we'll get married and have dozens of children!

I was ready to make that sacrifice, even if I had not the means. Crystal is a ten out of ten on my list, a real trophy, it has the power give credibility to a man.

I had to put the speaker to force her to marry me.

- Crystal Come on, come eat with me tomorrow night, "I begged.

Crystal stood staring at me with an air of pretentious.

- What you do not understand in: "I do not go out with losers . "

She left the staff room under my eyes assassin. Fortunately, my eye was unarmed, Crystal was dead otherwise.

Joanie looked at me smiling.

- I told you that you have no luck with my sister.

The bitch, it really annoyed me.

- Because your sister is blind, she does not see the opportunities open to them.

- That's what I told you ... You have no chance with my sister.

- Shut up!

I got up to put my work uniform. Although Joanie pissed me off, I thought I had to go to Plan B. My children would be less beautiful, but to live as a couple, there must be room sacrifices.

Worse is better to spend his life with someone who pisses us to be alone.

You think so?

- You Jo ... Tomorrow night, what are you doing? I asked.

She looked at me stupidly.

- You really are pathetic, you just got to ask my sister.

- Go Joanie, tomorrow is the day the pay is the day of the week that I'm the party , I have no desire to celebrate alone.

- Forget it. The last time I was supper with you, you've not spoken to that evening.

- Because you got me pumped this evening by reiterating that I had no luck with your sister. But now your sister no longer interests me. Against you by ...

Joanie blushed red ...

- Pat ... I do not feel unwell, but I either you do not interest me.

Fuck, fuck , fuck, fuck , fuuuck !

All my options were currently flying. It made me angry.

- Joanie, you're my plan B, you can not do this to me!

She looked at me strangely.

- What, your plan B??

I suddenly realized that I had talked too much. So I improvised a little improvisation to get out ...

- No, no, I said no plan B, I said flamed.

- Huh?? Flamed?? I'm sure you said B! plan

- No, I said: Thou art my flamed.

- Your flamed?? It makes no sense!

- Yeah, Jo! It is a well known expression "You are my flaming", that means you're my love, my sacred fire.

She looked at me suspicious. She did not believe me at all.

- No, no, no, your expression does not exist. You said Plan B. I am sure that your plan A was my sister and how she refused your invitation, I am your plan B.

It is difficult to fight against women's intuition, but I did anyway.

- Not at all! Look, I'm not Machiavelli, I prepare my plans not advance. I really flamed said.

She put her hands on her hips.

- Stop lying! You said plan B!

I made a piteous.

- Jo ... If I had a plan B, I also plan C. So why I should stay here to waste my time, I'd already begged my Plan C. What you say makes no sense.

She looked at me long.

- Anyway, tomorrow I can not. Forget it, Pat.

- The day after tomorrow, anyway?

- You're pissing me off! I really feel that you run two things at once. Me and my sister.

- I can not run two things at once, Jo, I just have a carrot, I replied to convince.

- Listen, I've just finished a disturbingly a romantic relationship. I did not want me back in a couple's life immediately. You have no chance with my sister and you have no chance with me either.

I did not leave discouraged.

- Come on, say yes, it will change us ideas! I'll pay for dinner and I swear I'll be more pleasant than last time.

She sighed and thought for a few seconds.

- I warn you, if you go dinner is not to sleep with you after.

The hare had the tab on the collar.

- Jo is an evening of friendship. Write me your address on a paper, after tomorrow I'll go get you, we'll have some fun .

She took out a pencil and a piece of napkin and wrote his address, I put on my coat.

( Silence) ...

I have a rabbit caught in my trap.

My plan now is simple, it's just the person that changes.

Crystal Instead, I'll get drunk Joanie and try to sleep with her.

Good ... Do not worry, I'm not going to rape her. I told you, I do not want to go to jail, I do not have time.

I'll just animate his desire to me by a few glasses of wine.

To make her pregnant, living with her and then isolate it from his family.

Thus, it will be obliged to marry me.

( sigh of joy) ...

If all goes well ...

In nine months, I am the owner of a happy family.

* Photo: http://s-fun.com/6-rabbit-pictures-from-garden-and-decorated-bedroom/

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•samantha 38 G New Free Clips 2010

Today, video day! Want

Today, I did not report, I do not talk about my love life.

I'll tell you about Hitler .

Yeah.

For a brief moment on Youtube , there is a concept video where people have fun to caption a scene from the film The Fall (film about the downfall of Hitler ) where you see what a nasty sting last crisis to subordinates in yelling in German.

Of course, when you speak German, the concept is fucking flat. But if you do not understand German it becomes hilarious because the subtitles were not related to what Hitler actually said. There are videos where we see Hitler losing it to the exchange of Halak, another for the death of Michael Jackson , one because the Conservatives do not want to invest in a new Coliseum to Quebec brief ... Hitler condom every news story.

I it is peeing!

Do I have decided to do mine for me ...

In fact, I did a month ago. But I waited before sending.

Because my topic is delicate too bad I wanted to allow time for social anger to fall a bit before laughing.

There is a little over a month, a little girl uploaded a video on Youtube where we see her get rid of, without remorse, a litter of puppies by throwing them into a river (here ) .

Seriously, the video is disturbing. The gesture of the little girl is really cruel and painful to watch.

The video has toured the world, angry Internet users have traced early and was flooded with tens of thousands of death threats, ranging from "I'll strangle you" to "I'll squeak a shot for you brick crack head" through "I'm going to rape you and open up the belly."

( Silence) ...

get me wrong, I disagree with the gesture of the girl, quite the contrary. But I disagree with either all threats she received.

Certainly, it deserves a correction, but death?? By suffering more??

What the fucking fuck ??

I do not think that this girl is a maniac, a ruthless assassin or serial killer in the making.

I think it's a cultural issue, it comes from Croatia or Bosnia, I imagine that his father told him simply: "The dog has given birth yet, no money goes squealing puppies in the river quietly "worse she ran, as thousands of other Croats, because that's how every time the dog gives birth.

His biggest mistake was to put it on the Internet. The population has seen the gesture and sentenced without even knowing the context.

And the conviction is serious ... The death penalty, no less.

I think there is a strange paradox. People are outraged by the death of puppies want the head of the girl. I can not understand. It's like proclaiming ecologist worse to walk in Hummer.

If I were a judge, she spend a whole summer to work full time at an animal shelter so that she develops feelings towards them. After all, this is a kid with no history, we are not talking about a murderer in power. At worst, he was imprisoned in a center for youth.

But Kill? Come on!

So ... I go back to Hitler ... Why did you choose Hitler to talk about the girl?

Because I found the cartoon comedy. I found that Hitler , psychopath who killed millions of people, was the parallel Perfect for all these authors represent death threats against the small.

Happy viewing.

is my opinion.

Patrick Duval

Psychologists non-graduate

Linda Goodman's December 2010 Horsocope Signs

reach unattainable

I had a full evening to convince Joanie to forget her ex Jason and understand that I am the man for her.

I was ready for anything, I had to Joanie, I know that our children will be fine.

The evening was well planned planning:

1 - Romantic Dinner.

2 - Casino.

The first to make him believe that I have a sentimental side, the second to make him believe that I have a side full of cash.

is a perfect combo, Joanie can not resist me.

Anyway ...

lunch, my friend Taillefer has come for a ride home. We had a beer discussing the worse when he asked me was my search for the perfect woman.

I told him about Joanie, I was very close to my wife and do that tonight was going to buy her flowers, take her dinner, leave the casino and then try the embrace.

Taillefer went out laughing, I felt like the kick in the balls.

Nobody laughs Patrick Duval.

- You never pognes a girl that way. The secret is to show him she can not reach you, "he said.

- Huh??

- If you want a girl falls in love with you, you must not show her too much interest, in any case, my theory is my rule. Tonight, instead of trying cruiser Joanie entire evening, tell her you're interested in another woman.

I did not understand his logic.

- What the fucking fuck ?? Your rule is crap. It will ruin my chances of making the future wife of my children in the future!

- On the contrary! Tell him how you'd be with this other woman, affectionate, gentle, tender, loving, caring, nice and all synonyms of the word "love" that you can find. Automatically, it will become jealous, she'll imagine a man like you bad boom! She'll want, she will try to make you forget the other, to show that it is much better. People always want what is unattainable!

I smiled, Taillefer was a genius.

- Yeah, I think you're right, maybe because I too want a woman who keeps me find one.

- Me, I married Jennifer in this way. I took out with her to appear out of reach in the eyes of Edith Boisclair.

I thought about two seconds.

- Ok, but ... Your rule does not work, you're not married Edith Boisclair.

He looked at me like I was a moron.

- Precisely! I'm the exception to my rule!

Decidedly Taillefer was Einstein of feminine seduction. The rule was masterful unattainable.

I bought two tickets for dinner cruises AML .

With a cruise, I put all chances on my side. Girls trippent on such activities, I swear. What girl does not like the movie Titanic ? Huh?

It boosts their libido. In the spirit of Joanie, I was going to turn into Leonardo DiCaprio. With any luck, the boat would hit a pillar of the Jacques Cartier Bridge and falling somewhere between Montreal and Longueuil to allow me to save it.

We arrived at 18:45, the boat took off to 19h ...

A waiter dressed a sailor or a sailor dressed in server, I can not say, gave us a table right next to a window. The place was super romantic, there were even violin players who violated beautiful tunes ...

I ordered wine, we raised our glasses to the party.

- You know ... I must tell you. If I agreed to go out with you at the beginning was to make Jason jealous, but now I do not regret it. I think I'll spend a nice evening, me she said.

Hahaha! I could tell she was using the trick of Taillefer. This girl was crazy about me, telling me about Jason, she wanted to go out of reach. I saw before me a little clever.

I had to act.

- Me too, I must tell you something. If I invited you, it is to have your advice, "I said.

She seemed intrigued.

- Any advice? About what?

I took a look pitifully pitiful ...

- I'm in love ...

Joanie sighed and blushed of embarrassment, it was uncomfortable ...

- Listen, Pat ... I do not know what to tell ya ...

- Do you think she will want to know anything about me?

She hesitated a moment, not sure I understand.

- It?

- Yes, it ... What? You thought that I still have not talked to you! I said, laughing.

Joanie did not know where to look.

- Yes ... Not ... Excuse me, I thought ... Worse let them. Who is the chosen of your heart?

- Crystal.

She goggled eyes in his head ...

- My sister??

- Yes.

- You guts on my sister??

- You can not know. With it, I'd be so loving, kind, tender, loving, attentive, pleasant and all the synonyms of the word "love" that I can find.

She sat back and looked at me for a minute.

- Are you serious? Has she finally asked.

I felt that it bothered her. Taillefer was really right. He had now put the package to show me out of reach.

- I am serious. Together, we could go see galas control WWE at Bell Centre , spend our holidays in Val-d'Or and drinking beer on the balcony. It would be a dream life, I'm all for your sister is the only girl that I want very much.

Joanie has an air of disgust. Probably because she was starting to be jealous.

- Uh ... I do not think that my sister is the right kind of woman for you.

Hahaha! Really, the trick worked Taillefer, there was no doubt that Joanie was trying to depart from his sister out of jealousy. I decided to continue the game

- love overcomes the differences, "I breathed.

- Pat ... You know my sister. She enjoys socializing, it's a princess, she loves the opera, caviar and Porsche. You are incompatible.

- What is caviar??

- That's what I said, you're incompatible.

Suddenly, Joanie made me shit.

- It is not inconsistent simply because I know the definition of a word!

- Caviar is sturgeon eggs.

- What is a sturgeon?

- A fish!

- Crystal eats fish eggs! Disgusting!

- I told you, you're not meant to be together. Forget my sister, she loves careerists.

Fuuuck , Joanie put me more and more crunches.

- I have a career as a server! Am I yelled.

neighboring tables have turned to us, I am a little calmer.

- You do not understand, Pat. My sister is very difficult, she dreams of a handsome prince who takes in Monaco each year.

- I too can take him to Mexico!

The waiter came to take our orders, when he left I was still annoyed.

- In any case, I can not believe you think I am not a man for your sister.

- Anyway, there's another guy who is interested.

WHAT? I was in shock.

- Another guy?? You kidding me??

- Yes and it looks much like it. She admitted that she dreams of sailing with him, have children and share a romantic evening in front of a fireplace.

I was too jealous of this guy, damn lucky, he had hopes of destroying his celibacy.

- I kill him, give me his name!

Joanie started laughing.

- Even if you kill him, it does not mean that Crystal is going out with you. It will perhaps have to assassinate you a lot of guys before she turns to you.

- You piss me off, Jo!

It took an air of desolation sorry ...

- I'm sorry, Pat, but my sister ... She is out of reach.

I ate my dinner without saying a word, thinking about Crystal fucking with him, the desire gnawing inside me and pride destroyed.

Since I was in total silence, my wife ended the evening chatting with the bartender's worst boat fuck the casino, I had no desire to spend my future sister in law. My heart beat for Crystal since now 116 minutes.

( Silence) ...

Anyway, one thing is certain: the theory beyond the reach of Taillefer, it is not worth shit.

I have not felt it had an effect on Joanie.

But I do not care.

Because now I am Crystal.

* Photo: http://www.ideachampions.com/weblogs/archives/2010/03/index.shtml

Nutrametrix Richard Chan

The Birthday Massacre back! LORNA

Yes! It's big comeback THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE , a new album on September 14, Pins and Needles!

In addition, a new music video for a new part of the album in question is also available for a few days, IN THE DARK, directed by Michael Falcore (group) and Rodrigo Gudiño (Canadian magazine Rue Morgue ). A logical association and for the first time, you feel the atmosphere of the group through the dream world created. A successful collaboration that continues the path that I love this group and follows several years. Check out the video here:

http://www.thebirthdaymassacre.com/InTheDark/

No date for an appearance in Montreal at the moment (a quick visit to their home town, Toronto), but remains hopeful that after the tour of England, there will move to Montreal. Or if not, soon ... Their performances are so magical it's hard to resist.

More good news BLONDE REDHEAD also released a new album the same day, PENNY SPARKLE!

Needless to say, both albums are certainly already pre-ordered from my side. Indulge yourself, you will not regret it ...

And to follow up the previous post: new obstacles have prevented the release of LORNA THE EXORCIST its new schedule. So it will appear the same day as the diary of a Nympho ( SINNER ) or November 23. I was afraid for a moment with the words of Pete Tombs (copy having been martyred by the Italians during its operation), but I remain optimistic. It is clear that this is an admirer of the film that wants to broadcast it because the abandonment would have long highlighted with many distributors ... Congratulations to Mondo Macabro to continue in this madness!

What To Wear On And Ice Skating Date

all in the technique

I do not know what happens with Joanie .

Since her breakup with Jason , it is not the same. She stops talking, never wants to go out and let the hair grow legs, it's fucking disgusting.

But as I intend to do my Woman tried to attract his attention repeatedly, yet she always seems to be somewhere else, like a lunatic in the moon ...

I know, I know ... I'm not cellar, Joanie has a broken heart. But I have no time to wait, I must ask him to marry before 26 November. My birthday, the limit I set myself to find shoes in my foot.

You know, if I no women at the age of forty, I become a priest .

Amen ...

short, Joanie was sitting alone in the room employees Panini when I entered. I finished my day, I took things into my locker and I was leaving when I said that as women love get attention, it would be a good idea to take the opportunity to chat discussion with her ...

After all, if I want to marry Joanie, it is necessary that I speak a little. A couple's life, it requires some sacrifices.

I sat before her at the table of employees.

- It's Jason who puts you in this state? I asked.

Her eyes suddenly became full of tears. What a crybaby!

I decided to use the technique Forrest Gump . It's a technique I invented to seduce women.

You know, Forrest Gump is naive, friendly and cute, his name makes you laugh, you can not refuse anything to this guy.

The trick is simply to pronounce his name as often as possible in conversation to put his image in the mind of the girl. In this way, unconsciously, the woman who speaks to you you will find more cute and you can not say no when you ask him to leave.

- Listen Joanie, your break with Jason, this is perhaps a sign of destiny. Should not you let yourself down, you're like Forrest Gump ! Run! Course towards freedom and new adventures!

She looked at me even more depressed.

- Getting to compare Forrest Gump, it's not really back morale.

WHAT? Yet it was the ultimate compliment!

That shocked me.

- Forrest Gump is a hero. Forrest Gump saved his unit in Vietnam, he shook hands with John F. Kennedy worse her mother is Sally Field, The Flying Nun! Come on, everybody wants to be compared to Forrest Gump .

- It's a movie, "she replied with a sigh.

- Forrest Gump is based on a true story!

- No.

- Yes!

- No, it's a character.

- J'te says it's true, it's like Rambo and Die Hard , they are true facts and make a movie! Crunches, you can not invent everything, Die Hard is too sick!

I got the impression that Joan looked at me like I was a moron, more or less light ...

- Never mind, "she whispered.

She suddenly fell back to the moon.

That shocked me even more.

- Stop worry do for a Thick as Jason! My mother always told me that life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what ...

- Shut up, Pat!

Really, his lack of respect for Forrest Gump beyond me. I was furious.

- You know what's your problem? You're not quite as Forrest Gump. You lock yourself in your little world in your head everything is gray is made worse than almost love it. All the people you take pity on you for attention, you want everyone to say: "poor Joanie, she's all sad sad." Crunches, build up a shell, look forward not backward, discipline your mind, do you think Forrest Gump could just dropped him??

- I'm just loving, fucking cellar!

- Fuck the pain of love! Move on!

- It's easy to say ...

- Jason has kidnapped your cat to steal money, he not deserve your pain! Look on the bright side as Forrest Gump! It's better that you know that Jason is a crossers today that in twenty years.

- Let me go with Forrest Gump , fucking!

We stayed silent for a moment.

I decided to attack the image of Forrest Gump in Joanie's head was beginning to do its job.

- Tomorrow I'll change. " I'll take you to the casino, I said.

- At the casino?

- Yeah, it'll be cool!

She sighed.

- Not ... I do not want.

She really annoyed me. For fifteen minutes I tried to cheer her up and she would not know.

Bitch!

- Go Joanie, we'll have fun.

- Another time, perhaps ...

- Come on, I'll pay, I have lots of money right now.

- It's not about money.

- Say yes, please ... Say yes!

She looked at me coldly.

- Stop Pat! I said it not tempt me!

But my speech Forrest Gump me pumped, I was ready to run for eternity.

Good ... Maybe not forever but at least until 26 November.

- I pay for dinner too!

She made a huge sigh.

- how do you get rid of you, tabarnak?

- Willingness to spend the night with me tomorrow.

- I said no! As she roared.

I exploded.

- PRAISE! YOU WILL NOT SAY NO TO FORREST GUMP ! You got no HEART, FUCKING??

Jason, the former Joanie, a cook in Panini, entered the staff room at that time, we watched two seconds.

When Joanie was caught, she took a look of disgust after him. Jason said nothing, content to fix the floor.

I shrugged and then I got up to leave the place. Forrest Gump technology was crap.

Then, Joan said, very hard to hear that Jason: "It's okay for tomorrow, Pat, we'll go to dinner and casino. It'll make me change out with a gentleman."

I could not believe it! The technique works!

In addition, she called me a gentleman!

What return status! Joanie surely came to realize that I was the man of her life. Like that. Suddenly. Forrest Gump through !

Wow! And I hope not to end up single, a spark flashed through the heart of Joanie.

Finally, a happy destiny takes shape for me.

( Silence) ...

I just hope I'll stick more often than Forrest Gump.

* Photo: http://www.traileraddict.com/poster/forrest-gump